Conquering the Extra Curricular Budget

Show choir, traveling soccer, honors choir, and violin. DD2 is loaded with extras in her days beyond school. Add driving to the list, and the added car, gas, and insurance expenses, and the family of Sam has to find more techniques to stay ahead of the budget. Granted, some of the added gas money will be neutral, as her driving means I'm not using my car gas to bring her, and as there is not a double round trip (as sometimes I go home and then drive back), With her siblings, we provided one tank of gas a month, which covered school commute, and the basic school related activities. After that, they were on their own, and it came from their spending or earned money. This really helped them develop an appreciation of how costly the extra trips are, and that driving is a privilege and an added expense. We'll continue this plan for DD2. She will need to learn to never buy gas without a coupon, minimum of $0.05 off per gallon.She gets good grades, which helps keep insurance manageable through a good student discount-essential! 

2017 will be the year of brown bagging it, or "coolering" it, as it were. We'll use our lunch bag and small coolers for days out, and soccer nights and weekends. We will not leave the house without a refillable water bottle. For show choir, the expectation is for the kids to use the concessions, as that helps cover the host schools costs. I'll go with tradition, but still send her with a packed portable breakfast and snack for the bus ride there and home. (These are 15-18 hour days with travel and competition.) Show choir does a much better job with concessions.Typically the menus include soups, salads, pasta dishes, fruit, and vegetables, and not just the sports concession fare of popcorn, candy, hot dogs and pizza. Spending $10 on a lunch and supper when I know it is going to be decent makes a difference, and I just roll it into the cost of the activity that we budget for. 

We'll continue for the time being with the shared 30 minute lesson, and 15 minute private, which means we are getting 15 more minutes of lesson than if all solo, and she has more motivation to practise with her friend outside of the lesson. Generally, the teacher has at least one lesson time a month with a conflict, and that saves us the $30 for the week. I'll pay the full amount, and slowly build a credit, so we end with a month-two months a year with no lesson fees. Then, that months fee can go towards a future payment for another activity. 

I've talked about working opportunities to earn dollars in her various accounts. I will be putting those earnings in my newly coined "Rain Drops" fund, suggested by the Hawaii Planner. I like that phrase, as it goes with the theme of saving for a rainy day. All together, DD2's extra curriculars come to $3300. While a lot of money, it is nothing compared to what I'm sure other families have invested. Granted, we are involved in organizations that do a lot of fundraising and use volunteer labor, and DH and I put in our time dues to keep the fees low. These activities give her and us, a lot of enjoyment, so are worth staying in the budget. My job is to manage how that budget gets implemented. 

For those of you with kids at home, how are you navigating the expenses? Do you work more to earn, or cut from other parts of the budget, or a combination of strategies? 

Ode to Morning Teenagers

"M are you even awake yet!" I'm calling to my daughter for the third time this morning. She is tired. She is ready to be done with the week. She had no weekend at all last weekend. She has a headache. These are all true things. Most of the time she is a pretty mellow, friendly, and kind type of kid, but as her stress level rises with school work in relation to her unscheduled time going down, she gets almost as cranky as her mother does. Fortunately, she has nothing on her weekend but homework (always present) and fun with friends. I've written a two part haiku to capture her morning, and complete happy mood swing when she realized her weekend is free. 

Ode to Morning Teenagers 

 

Quit yelling at me!

I never have time for me

Just let me sleep more.

Nothing on schedule;.

Can I sleep at my friends house?

No homework tonight

Just Like Fire

It's not another post about the weather today, but I had DD2 snap this ironic photo in the car after her second soccer game. Note the song title-note the temperature! Yes folks, I live in Minnesota where hell in the summer will literally freeze over come January. 

She played two games in the heat yesterday, and while we have traveled farther for tournaments n single days, we  had a hotel room to head back to and rest right after the second game. This was supposed to be the travel tournament that the team stays over, but we intentionally picked a mid distance because it is such a busy weekend for families that they could have the choice to stay or drive back and forth.  Only four girls ended up staying and I am happy we stayed as I've been a little frazzled lately, and the drive back home, and then here today would have set my week up for exhaustion. She plays at 11:00, and if they win, they play again at 5:00, a whole afternoon to kill. Of course I want the team to play well, but are we bad parents because most were thinking, and a few said out loud, that it wouldn't be a bad thing if they lose?  The girls want to win-this team always plays tournaments much better than the regular season. 

Three anecdotes. One, as the team manager, I sent all the tournament details in a link to the tournament as a whole, and I direct link to their bracket with the field directions, times, and other need to know information. I previously had a place holder before we knew times of 24 hours on both Saturday and Sunday-12:00 a.m.-12:00 a.m. Of course one family didn't bother to look at the e-mails with the tournament bracket, didn't check before the day, and showed up for the 11:00 game at 12:00 noon, becasue they went to the original date hold, which said 12:00 a.m. not p.m. anyway! (the other 14 players were well on time.) Another went to the check in address-not the field, but arrived before game. I feel sorry they did not pay better attention, but frustrated that both seemed to think it was my error in giving them wrong info. Arrgh! Not worth arguing, I just said, "sorry for your confusion."

Two, I will be sporting large quantities of aloe today, and carrying around a golf umbrella to keep that sun off me. I have nice pink arms and legs today-not attractive on someone who is still 56 pounds from getting back in her normal weight range. The third anecdote reminds me of the scene from  One Fine Day, where Michelle Pfeifer's son squirts grape juice on her blouse, and she magically pulls out one of her 6 year old's t-shirts from her bag, and wears a cute little dino t-shirt under her executive suit vest and jacket the rest of the day. She looks cute and perky. In my getting out the door, I forgot to throw a night t-shirt in my bag yesterday morning. DD had a few extra's and I maneuvered my arms and head into one size small shirt. My chest looked like I had inserted an inner tube inside the shirt, but at least it was clean and fresh for after my shower. It's one of her hand me downs, so if I ruined it, so be it. 

Have a great Sunday, and I'll be back in the week with news from the soccer field, and  a few recipes I have up my sleeve. Strawberries and rhubarb are coming! I'll leave you with this trailer and you can see the t-shirt peaking out from the suit staring at 1:15. Michelle Pfeifer I am not, but I do love that actress and this movie. Hard for me to believe it is twenty years old, and it reminds me of my older two's childhood. I wasn't mistaken for Michelle Pfeifer back then either, but my boobs were a little more perky. 

Simpler Times-Perhaps: Part 4, Vacations

When my kids were young, vacationing was simple. Now we have to manage passports, and the right ID, ground transportation, and making sure we capture all the highlights we can to justify the cost of the trip. This is not a complaint, because I like my traveling, and feel the planning ahead of time is part of the fun. Back then, vacations were all road trips, and were short, a few days at most. We also had to have a loos schedule. It is hard packing things for babies,toddlers, and preschoolers and as a new mom, hard to feel like a vacation when you are on constant vigilance to make sure they are safe, which is why a few days at most worked for us. Of course , it was a money thing as well. There just wasn't any money to do more than a a couple nights. We would book at a discount hotel, finding the best deal we could.  We made sure it had a pool and scouted out parks in the area so we could make the most of the time away. It was simple.  

We packed a cooler and tote bag to keep expenses low and make sure we had ready food for hungry kids that would be off schedule from their normal routine.  More often than not, we made sure the hotel had a free continental breakfast. That breakfast paired with the cooler, was plenty to get us to an early supper where we dined with other families with young children and senior citizens at a budget chain restaurant, with a coupon if possible.  I would look in the Sunday coupons the month before our get away and clip the Applebees, Ruby Tuesday, Olive Garden, and any other coupons for restaurants  we might run across.  While discount, and chains, these were fine dining when you are financially strapped young parents.One more silly bit of nostalgia I miss, is the end of kids menus.  No more puzzles and games to play before the meal came,  No more special kids cups, and little toys that would be lost by the end of the trip, but treasured for the next day. 

Once we scored a deluxe three day, two night package, off season, in a real hotel in Duluth that included dinner and drinks in the carousel restaurant on the top floor.  The restaurant rotated very slowly, reviewing a look by the end of dinner of the whole city.  DD#1 got called "mam" when her chair was pulled out for her by the host, and both kids were served kiddie cocktails with umbrellas. Needless to say, her pretend play later in the week included pulling chairs out for her dolls and stuffed animals at her little table and calling them "mam".  DS thought a lot about the mechanics of the carousel, wondering if it went faster, would our food fall off the table, or would the force keep it in place? He later experimented with cups and plates on a Sit-n-Spin. What's the sign of a good vacation for kids? When they take the vacation home with them in their mind, not in stuff. 

After checking into the motel and going for a swim, we would find the points of interest, talk to the kids about where we were, things they might relate to, and spend the day out and about new surroundings. Heading back to the motel for another swim, we would have an early night in bed, letting the kids first watch something on Disney channel or cartoon network, a bonus treat because in those days we did not spend money on cable or satellite. It was a banner motel stay if they had free HBO, and once the kids were asleep, DH and I might watch a grown up movie, and have a glass of wine or beer.  If nothing on, we would have an uninterrupted chat, knowing the exhausted kids would not wake up needing something.

These were simple, but fun and memories that I still have, though I am sure the kids remember little.  In pictures though, I have pictures of a two year old and a four year old, smiling ear to ear climbing on a boat in a Lake Superior park, happy to be let loose to play and climb. I have similar smiling pictures from later trips to Florida, Mexico, Jamaica, and the Bahamas.  At the time in life, I doubt they would have had any better time at those more exotic of locales, and I doubt I would have either.

While I love traveling, I don't want to get in the habit of thinking all get aways have to be in an airplane, in fancy digs, with a jam packed itinerary. Young children force by age, and by expense, to make things simpler, but not less enjoyable. Now though, with no little ones to think about, I still get to decide how special an event, a day, or a week is. I can decide with what and when to fill my cooler and where to head. Like then, I'll make sure it has a bottle of wine.  

School is Out for Summer

What a lyric. Loved it as a child, and now, I am going to have my nice evening sleep put off because of it for several hours. Tonight, the start of summer vacation sounds will float through the open window. Our house backs up to a park, specifically the playground end of it. It is a glorious Thursday evening sitting out on the deck, and laughter, yells, and sounds of chaos echo off the slides and basketball court. It will be like this all night long. While technically the parks close at 10:00, I doubt on such a perfect night anyone is going to be pushing to get their kids in, especially on their first night of summer vacation.The evenings are cool, which means the open window makes for perfect sleeping conditions. The amplified sounds do not. I am very jealous of DD#2, who will be allowed to sleep until she wakes. I on the other hand will be trying to start summer hours with no school drop off, starting and ending my day an hour earlier.

I grumble a bit, but I really don't mind. It is quaint and reassuring that I live in a community that has so many parks and parents feel safe to let their kids play until they drop from exhaustion. I do wish there was more deliberate activity tonight, perhaps a softball or soccer game, maybe some footballs being thrown around. Right now the game seems to be running up and down the slide ladder, clanking the swing chains, and screaming at full lung capacity. I can only hear most of it rather than seeing as we have trees lining most of our yard. The hearing the screams and not seeing what is going on is giving pup some anxiety. Oh cute!  A few boys just headed towards the pond with fishing poles. I say pond loosely as it is the man made type that starts as an overflow drainage in a ponding basin. I sure wouldn't want to eat anything they catch.  here will be many more nights like this one over the next three months, but nothing compares to the first night with no school the next day. 

Picture credited to trailridersresource.com

Stop Crying Already

Today DD#2 "graduates" from middle school.  My sweet, petite, Boo, my bonus baby, will be a high school student. I am just crying inside to think her childhood, my last opportunity as a parent to a child, is done.  We move to planning her high school schedule that starts the academic path to a final GPA.  We will get her signed up for drivers ed as she can get her permit in January. She will have friends that drive, a new worry. I sat in church at the service for graduating Seniors and had to fight tears remembering DS and DD, already 6 & 8 years since they finished school, went to college, and severed any final links to their childhood. But there is no reason for me to cry.  All three are healthy and for the most part unscathed by the brutal side of life.  There is no reason to cry when each says, "love you too," when I tell them I love them. There is no reason to cry when I look at my DS's handsome face, and the DD's beautiful smiles and see their tiny faces on their first day of kindergarten.  There is no reason to cry because I did a good job, if not perfect, as their mom.  There is no reason to cry at her middle school graduation, but I will.

Perspective

My post tonight is short and just something to noodle on.  How can so many people see, feel, and think so differently about the same information and situations?  I spent a thought provoking day with smart people, but very different interpretations of events, information, and actions.  As I ponder my own question, helped with the effect of a few cocktails, I have affirmation that perspective is all in the view of the beholder. Many of us are guarded with sharing our perspective outright; we hold our cards close to our vest until we think the time is right to disclose.  Wouldn't life be interesting if we all spoke as honestly as children, or senior citizens? (or the inebriated?) Both call a situation as they see it, when they see it.


On a similar note, kids and the elderly get each other.  I found that so true between my youngest and my aging parents in their last few years.  I over heard a cute interaction between child and a senior citizen in a wheel chair at the airport yesterday. "I'm 5!" he says holding up fingers. "Oh my" she said back. "That's one of the ages I used to be." Nodding his head as she was talking, he then said, "uh hah, I knew that."  Nice shared perspective.