Ode to Morning Teenagers

"M are you even awake yet!" I'm calling to my daughter for the third time this morning. She is tired. She is ready to be done with the week. She had no weekend at all last weekend. She has a headache. These are all true things. Most of the time she is a pretty mellow, friendly, and kind type of kid, but as her stress level rises with school work in relation to her unscheduled time going down, she gets almost as cranky as her mother does. Fortunately, she has nothing on her weekend but homework (always present) and fun with friends. I've written a two part haiku to capture her morning, and complete happy mood swing when she realized her weekend is free. 

Ode to Morning Teenagers 

 

Quit yelling at me!

I never have time for me

Just let me sleep more.

Nothing on schedule;.

Can I sleep at my friends house?

No homework tonight

To Job or Not to Job- My Teen Question

My youngest has a busy school and extracurricular schedule. She also needs, dare I say, requires, a certain amount of downtime, to keep her own stress levels at bay. Lately she has been talking about wanting to get a part time job, perhaps starting in the summer. I'm all for kids earning the extra's in life, but I also don't want her involvement, and her grades to be impacted. Plus, she will be working for 50 years once she is out of highschool. I want her to build up experiences now. Though, part time jobs are good experiences, if a good fit. I'm perplexed.

My son had weekend and summer spot jobs through high school. He did things like painting and yard clean-up, occasional office work at my then work, and some things for his grandpa's shops and rentals. He probably could have taken on more, lord knows he didn't do that much around the house, and no winter sport. But fall and spring he was in football and track practice daily, often into the evenings. DD#1 started a job in a grocery store just before her junior year of highschool. The store was a block and 1/2 a way, and she didn't get that many hours, maybe 10-12 a week. By her junior year, she was no longer doing sports, and had just a couple intramural type activities. She was taking over half her classes at the local community college for high school and college credit, plus a few more, almost all of which transferred when she went to the University, helping her to graduate a semester early with two bachelor's degrees. The job was a good fit for her-she needed more to keep her busy, and keep her connected to kids her own age.

None of my kids are lazy, but they sure did not have the work drive I had as a teen. Quite frankly, other than the absolute necessities parents are required to provide, from probably the age of 12 when I started regular babysitting jobs, to when I corn detassled, then later worked in a newspaper, then grocery store, I was pretty self sufficient. There was no allowance to pay for movies out with friends, or a day hanging out in the mall and grabbing a treat at the food court. If I wanted those things, they came out of my earned money.  Occasionally a couple dollars would come our way, and we had a little allowance for school clothes shopping to start the year. By no means was I deprived, but often felt-knew, we kids were a financial burden for our parents, so we didn't even ask for things. While theses skill helped me a lot in college and starting out my family, in many ways I developed some unhealthy anxieties about money, struggling with using it for things other than necessities, but then later binge spending on stupid things. The balance is still a struggle for me.  

We agreed that she could look into options for now. We have a short list of places that might be possible while allowing her to not give up her activities. Should she decide to stop cross country, the extra choirs and orchestras, the plays, soccer, and her clubs, the options might expand. She'll take the odd babysitting job when her schedule allows, and continue to do volunteer stints-which I think is just as useful as a paid job in developing a work ethic. Meanwhile, she is building quite a portfolio for potential scholarships, which long term could net her much more than $7.25 an hour schlepping soft serve ice cream in a cone. 

Where do you think part time jobs fit in the scheme of teen life? Am I being over sheltering or smart about trying to preserve her active high school life? 

Can We Have an Adventure

I've created a city slicker.  DD#2 wants another day in either St Paul or Minneapolis, having an adventure as she called it.  There was something kind of innocently sweet in the way my getting to be too cynical teenager asked.  We were guests Friday night, along with her whole confirmation class, at a St Paul Synagogue.  The entire congregation were incredibly gracious to a group of sometimes overly rambunctious middle schoolers, thankfully respectful during the service itself, of traditions, language, and customs very different than our own Lutheran ones. To get there, you pass through some trendy streets in St Paul, way cooler than the dribble of boredom we apparently have in our bedroom community. Her eyes lit up on the way home to see the dark streets lit up by the stores,restaurants, and bars, and the  bustle of people out and about on the streets. I forget just how insular living a mere 30 miles from the "big cities" can be for teens that have no regular reason to go into either city.  One bus stop was packed, and being that it was a bit chilly, and being a Friday night, a couple clusters of people were dancing and jumping up in down, probably partially to keep warm, and partially for fun. This fascinated DD#2's friend, who in spite of saying she knew all about the cities, had eyes as wide as saucers. 

We have the last of the basketball season next week, and this weekend I need to get caught up on the business of life, but I am starting to noodle around some adventures for future weekends.  One of the things, simple as it might seem, she looked forward to in planning our UK trip last year was riding the double decker buses and taking the tube all about the city. It didn't really dawn on me before that trip that public transit was just not part of my kids life before they got out of high school, so the thought of it being our sole source for transportation was an awesome one for her. One day on the trip we took about an hour just riding around on a bus, looking at the street view, until the bus came to the end of its route and we were still perched on the upper deck. Light rail transit (LRT) is a  new transportation mode in the Twin Cities.  There are just a few lines, though one that connects the two big cities together, and a newly renovated Depot in St Paul, has made it a better commuting option. I think I will get some route maps, and plan a day to travel from one end of a line to the other and back again, stopping at sites along the way.  This will be way cheaper than a round trip ticket to Heathrow, and might add a bit of thrill to her teen age life.

With no vacation time built up, I'm planning to make the most of our Saturdays and Sundays. Where would you like to explore nearby but haven't had the time or inclination yet to do so?  If you are the adventurous day tripper, what have been some of your more memorable ones? 

Past adventure-Baker Street Underground.