A Household of Three

We area household of three again.  As parents, we hope we have given our children roots that they feel strong, but also wings so they can move on with their own lives, taking on challenges and making the most of opportunities.  I have now fully launched out of the home two adult children.  DD#1 hit the road for her westward move.  This time, as a cousin reminded me, she is a non-passport airplane ride away.  It will feel odd though as we try and  pack up the remnants she left behind, items that will need to be shipped, knowing this house will be a place to visit, not her home. 

My son has not really been home for more than a college break or a visit since the summer after his freshman year. He's had multiple moves, and is planning another at the end of the month.  In his head he was already independent back then, but  the clutter he left behind, and the calls for just a "small bit of a loan", told me otherwise.  This move of my daughter though feels like the cords with both kids have been officially cut.

They have whole relationships and experiences that I have no part of.  My son's work has taken him for weeks at a time all over the country; living out of a small suitcase and a backpack is the norm to him.  While I travel frequently for work and short trips at that, I am happy to be back home in my own house and bed at the end of the trip. We met many of my daughters international friends when we visited England last spring, but not nearly all.  On her birthday two weeks ago, she was receiving cards and gifts from England, Italy, and India, and Facebook greetings from countries so far and wide I couldn't name them. The flowers in this post were sent from her dear friend in Bulgaria-the wonders of e-commerce. She couldn't take them with in her jam packed card, but two weeks later, they are still fresh and beautiful, and it is bittersweet looking at them while I type this post.

My daughter is on the road as I type this.  I will feel angst until I know she has safely arrived at her final destination, and yet more angst, until I know she has settled into  her new home and job. She has a good head on her shoulders, and once my son moves, she will have family again near her.  I've connected her with a work colleague and friend who lives in the incredibly big city she has moved to, so help is an emergency call away should she need it.  As I feel the angst, I also feel some of her excitement, and have a little envy of what starting fresh in a new place might be like.  It is a fleeting envy though.  I love my little house, my pup, the hubby, and DD#2, with whom we have a lot of  her life to be a participant in before she graduates.  It is a new phase.  We are a household of three again. 

Pretty Places

I appreciate  unstructured time spent in space that is comfortable and visually appealing. 
When I am out of town and have a little spare time, I try to seek out the little areas probably well known to locals, but when stumbled upon when you're not expecting them, have an added appeal.

I was in Oklahoma city for a couple days for business  most flights are connecting flights, and  in order to navigate the best price for my work budget, I took a later flight, which gave me a few extra hours before having to get to the airport.  I enjoyed some unexpected sites.  There is a canal that runs along the back side of  what used to be a series of warehouses.  Most have been refurbished into bars and restaurants. and there were so many outdoor seating areas, but also a walk way along the canal.  if you've never been to Oklahoma City, the prettiness of the area, and the friendliness of the people cannot be overlooked.  On the canal, I ended my walk at the Devon Mosaic.  Look at the detail up-close, and you see the women in the mosaic pouring water, that then aligns with the real water feature.  Clever and soothing to sit and watch on a 80 degree October day. 



My angle is not the best, but the water from the picture appears to be flowing right form the jugs.

Business trips are usually short, and as costs to send employees on trips  becomes a steeper luxury, it gets harder to not cram every minute with work time. With the  advent of Facetime, Skype, and Go to Meeting, you can have virtual group meetings  with people in places all over the world.  There is still something though about  really being in the same space, seeing each others work environments, and the communities they engage in.  I appreciate the extra hours I had, to take my walk. Though it was a long route getting home, this mosaic was a little water oasis.



There is also Devon Bridge.

On the Road

I'm in a new city I have not been to before; Oklahoma City to be specific.   I had delayed flights, but the time in the  air passed quickly as I sat next to a conversational man. I rarely seem to sit by people that want to talk as much as he did, but it was a nice change.  He had adult children of  similar ages, and I could relate to many of his stories.   I had an interesting cab ride from a blue haired cab driver.  She was not elderly, but did have blue hair, and all her cab friends and the cab line attendant called her, "The Blue Haired Lady".  She was disappointed at first with my destination, as she had planned on my ride being the last one of the night, and had hoped it was a nice good fare.  She had in her head I was just a bit down the strip from the airport.  When she figured out my hotel was actually downtown, and would be a nice tidy sum, she became quite sociable and gave me lots of little tidbits of information about surroundings and points of interest on the route, her thoughts on Uber in Oklahoma City, and some nice places to stop and have a beer tonight.  

My room is quite nice, and much larger than needed for one person.  It has  Neutrogena  products in the bath, so I am happy that I didn't bother packing my own. It has a Keurig coffee maker, so another nice little bonus, with a supply of  coffee and tea.  I know the horror stories about why you should never use a hotel coffee maker, but I ran several cups of water through the brewer, and quite honestly, I can't live with that much paranoia.  I like coffee makers in my room, darn it!


I'm to meet up with colleagues for a little bit tonight, and left my room number, but haven't found anyone yet, so able to fit a quick call to home-all managing just fine, and do this post. I have some work things that have to be done before tomorrow morning, to make things stay smooth in the office.  Remote access is a great technological advancement, even if it does sometimes lead to me working ridiculously more hours than what my salary and "schedule" reflects. We have room in our meeting agenda for a nice dinner out tomorrow, followed by a trip to the Oklahoma City Memorial, a tribute to the victims of the 1995.  Many of those victims were helpless children and the staff that cared for them. My oldest was in kindergarten, the middle in preschool, when this act of evil occurred. It should be a particaulllry poignant way to end our day of  meetings.  I hope to learn a bit more about  the city in the next couple days.  The ride to the hotel was informative. The Blue Haired Lady did give me her card if I wanted to book a ride back on Thursday.

Musings and a Movie Review

I'm going to swim against the tide and officially declare that there is nothing on my calendar today.  I am only as busy as I choose.  Of course there is laundry and meals, and probably some cleaning, but no appointments or events that are set to a clock.  Knowing this, I worked quite late for a Friday in the office so it was nearly seven by the time I reached home, and the rest of the family were already engrossed in a football game or hanging with friends.  I took the evening for myself and grabbed a bit of supper,  a Bud Light 'Rita drink, followed by two more, and hopped on Netflix. 

I found a movie in the new release queue titled, Night Train to Lisbon. 
The movie stars Jeremy Irons as a divorced, self described pretentious but boring school teacher, that uncharacteristically finds himself in Lisbon searching for clues and answers about the life of a writer.  The movie is told in flashbacks by various people he meets, all part of the 1970's  Portuguese Resistance movement. It is a mystery, a political commentary, and a lost love story all in one, set in Lisbon, a city I had no idea was so stunningly picturesque.  The writer, and lead character in the  flashback is the  handsome and  charismatic Amadeau Pradu, a doctor by training, and a dreamer in practice, out to live life to the fullest. Iron's character, Gregorius, hopes by learning more about Amadeau, he can  know what it was like to be him, to know the kind of passion and zest for living he felt. I won't give away the ending, but there are a few twists.  Originally a book, it is a slow, but engaging story. I plan to add to my winter reading list. 

I like a movie that makes you think.  While a bit over dramatic in times, the narrative Amadeau penned is a challenge to the reader, or in my case now, the viewer, to not settle for a second rate life.  We have limited hours on the earth and a responsibility to make the most of those days. Some may be offended in his interpretation of the afterlife of being a never ending  dullness, without excitement, and that death, is what makes truly living possible. I tend not to read too much into a fictional story, and can separate enjoying characters beliefs from my own.  

Gregorius's actions intrigue me.  The idea of taking hold of bits and pieces of information, and trying to solve a mystery is intriguing. I am fascinated with people and the differences in  how people live their lives.  I love to people watch, particularly when out of town, as I assume,  that person must live so differently than me.  My daughters think I am just plain nosy.  Maybe I am.  With everyone talking loud cell phones in public, you can't help but overhear bits and pieces of information that if you think about, help create a little story to ponder. In Night Train, Gregarious goes many steps farther and dives into the detail of the authors life.  Who were his friends? What became of the various people he wrote about?  Why did Amadeau feel he had to live so hard? Why have I lived such a boring and uninteresting life, and is it too late to make changes? 

Who knows, the next time I end up with a second hand book, written by an unknown author in a place and time I haven't been to, maybe I'll be jumping on a plane or train too.  I like the possibility.

Hard Work and Sweet Rolls

I'll say it again.  This blogging is hard stuff.  Some days, in my quest to post  each day in September a paragraph or two on managing the frustrations in my life by reframing them as  blessings, I had nothing. Today though, I had two opportunities, stemming from the same start.  I was supposed to have a 9:00 meeting with a new director at a partner organization.  We calendared in the 29th, to meet at a great little coffee shop, Key's, with incredible home made sweet rolls near her office  and sort of on route to mine.  I have not yet met this person so I arrived a bit early so I could get a seat facing the door.  Several people, and 20 minutes later, no luck.  Now there are multiple locations in and around St Paul.  I was 100% sure we had agreed to this one, but that little twinge of doubt crept in.  I couldn't find the e-mail confirmation in my phone, so I looked up her contact information online at her companies web site.  Now 9:30, I left a message by phone and e-mail, paid for my coffee and also a delicious caramel sweet roll to go.  How is that for turning being stood up into a blessing. 

When I got to my office, I checked to see if I had an e-mail or phone message back.  Nothing.  This was really odd, but it at least confirmed that she wasn't sitting at a different locale wondering where I was.  I nibbled on my roll, and dove into my day, a bit annoyed that I lost two hours in the office.  Right before I headed into a 1:30 meeting, I had an awful thought that perhaps something  bad might have happened.  After all, who doesn't show up for meetings, and then never calls or e-mails back to explain what happened?   I finished my meeting and looked at e-mails when I got back to my desk.  Thankfully I had a message from her, apologizing profusely that she had inadvertently put the meeting in her calendar for  October 29 when we made the arrangement a couple weeks ago, and didn't realize her error until she herself saw my e-mail just a few moments before. I expressed that I was just happy to learn that nothing serious had happened, and assured her, this stuff happens.  We rescheduled for October 29th,for real, and she invited me for breakfast, same place and time, her treat. Blessing number two.  Now I'm not really this glib. The real blessing is that she and I both got to our respective offices in the usual mundane, and safe way, but breakfast out, and on a weekday, ranks pretty high on my simple pleasures list.

It is easy to get stressed, annoyed, and put out with what really are minor inconveniences  in the grand scheme of life. Imagine the alternatives to this story in why she was a no show.  I am sad to think I went to annoyance first, rather than concern. Tomorrow marks the end of September.  I'll try and revamp the website for October, plan out articles better and research a few posts to bring to the topic of reframing perspective. Maybe you'll chime in with thoughts and ideas.  I hope you do! How about it?  When have you seen a blessing where you first saw  a burden?



Not Key's but pretty close.