Thinking's on Plugging December Money Holes

Christmas gift giving for my immediate family will be light since we are diverting some Christmas funds to our trip next summer. I have a few things for my girls, need a couple items for my son, and each will get a little spending money. We took my mother in law to the arts Gala last week, as part of her gift. Though last year we had given her a shopping gift card and were to take her out for dinner and shopping for items for the cabin, and never did have that evening. She also never spent the gift card, so that is still in play. We took her out for other things, mothers day, her birthday, just because, but not the "gift" as planned outing. Overall though, while I wish I could get some of the extended family gift giving down, I believe I an a pretty good shopper and gift giver, not buying crap, and thinking of the person when I purchase, and keep my eyes out for the bargains. I generally stay or even go under my planned Christmas budget.

The holes that seem to drain our cash in December are all the extras this time of year. I'm not exaggerating when I think last year we racked up $400  more in incidental spending the last two weeks of the year, above our regular budget. Movie theater nights, extra lunches out when DS was home, grabbing lunches and coffee out with friends and my sisters and daughters since we are off school and work, more gas in the tanks for running around, convenience foods for meals on the go, extra beer in the house. I tried putting away a few dollars here and there to draw from. I was robust at first, then several times DD2 needed cash for something for school, and I raided the can. There's a few dollars still in it, maybe enough for a couple Christmas movie rentals from Redbox and some snacks for a movie night.

Now that we are more than a week into November, it is truly time I make a plan. Last year on the Friday after Christmas, I wrote a brutally honest post Frugal Friday and Other Jokes on all my spend thrift ways. It can be a great motivator to look now for ideas to plan ahead. 

Last minute gifts: I didn't realize it until I looked back that I did some last minute "extra gifts" not in the budget. This year, I will buy a few extra boxes of chocolates when they are on sale, plus utilize my wine stock if appropriate and not spend on the fly.

And speaking of alcohol: Just a little "good" beer, and then just the routine. Not a huge savings, but if my son and husband are fine with Coors the other 11 months of the year, it will work in December as well. Also, I think I'll make up Sangria, using wine I already have, as special drinks.

Coffee and lunches out: I need to make sure I am taking advantage of old gift cards and my various perks and points. A small bit of extra planning can lesson the expense.I might also suggest McDonald's for coffee out rather than Starbucks-two dollars is two dollars.

Movie theater: I have some value still on a gift card from last year. There are specials right now and I need to be looking into them to see if we can reduce our annual movie outing. I'll plan to have a crock pot full for dinner when we come home instead of yet another meal out, or convenience food. This should reduce the need for too many over priced snacks. 

Freezer Meals: My class last week gave me four meals for the freezer. I've never been one for making freezer meals, but this has been a big time help and the recipes are more elevated than I tend to make on a week night. Even if I do not take another class, I want to prep ahead 2-4 "fancy" meals. Both my older kids like home cooking, probably better than restaurant meals as with their work they often eat out a lot. With the prep all done, all we'll need to do is set, then clear the table, and plop dirty dishes in the dishwasher- faster than we could drive to a restaurant. Eating out for five people is a huge added cost, so if we reduce this by just one meal when my older kids are home, we'll have saved a bunch.

Hopefully between all these little strategies, December will feel as special as ever, I'll still have a break from the kitchen and have good times with my family and friends, and I'll have saved a few hundred in my checking account. How do you save money for special times? 

What's Too Frugal? Another Take

Gathering all the loose change at the end of the day and socking it away in a container to cash in yields some respectable savings amounts. Claiming the lost money in the laundry, left in pockets, a soggy mess to dry out, can lead to a tidy stack of air dried bills. No one would dispute these money saving schemes. Picking up money on the ground, perhaps too frugal? Does the value of the money matter?  This was actually a hallway conversation the other day, a colleague wearing the fruits of her ground picked up pennies in the form of a new to her blanket scarf. The I Pick Up Pennies blog name I believe originated from this practice. A recent post  at Kate Wolk-Stanley's blog The Non Consumer Advocate summarized her found change total for 2016 and back several years. 

I know I have picked up the odd silver change or dollar bill in a hallway from time to time. I can't say if I have or haven't in my life picked up change on a side walk or out in public on the ground. I may have in college when I was a completely broke waitress, so already in the habit of  picking up change on a floor that had fallen off tables, and any few pennies seemed like a help. 

This leads me to think of other frugal boundaries people have regarding claiming things. Curb side items with a sign marked "free" or "please take", might be a yes for me if it really was something I could use. I've never have hauled something home, though. Seeing an item in a garbage or set out for pick-up, easily a no for me, and I think that is illegal, right?  I have read that people will go to the persons house and ask if they can  have something they see. I personally would not do that because of my own comfort, but see it could be a smart frugality. Again, maybe back in college or just starting out if I wasn't already the recipients of so many hand me down items from family, I would have been more proactive in asking for other peoples cast offs. I've thought a bit more about cast offs as I brainstorm upcycling opportunities for some missing furniture pieces in my home. 

What are your thoughts on found money or finding freebies? Do I have a stupid squeamishness about  change on the ground? Has anyone had any great curbside finds, either with a note, or by being brave and knocking on the door to ask about said item.

Meat Raffles and Other Weird Ways to Fund Raise

Besides cruising down rivers drinking wine and hobnobbing in the blogger world, I helped with a few unconventional fund raisers this weekend. I generally do not participate in the fundraisers that is selling stuff. I have no place to put dozens of boxes of frozen cookie dough, nor the time to get any orders delivered. I'll help, and  will have the offspring help with anything that requires physical labor like car washes or bagging groceries.This weekend though, the selling of things for choir was nontraditional.The high school hosted a mattress sale. Yes, you read that correctly. A mattress distributor that only works through schools and nonprofits in a fund raising capacity, set up a mattress store ni the school commons. Because I was busy all day Saturday and DH works, we simply promoted it to family and friends via e-mail and Facebook, as did most of the families. You never know who needs a mattress, and apparently, they have figured out that about 10% of a persons contacts are in need of a mattress every year. DD received a bonus for her direct account for each referral purchase, and the school stands to make a sizable amount to defray program costs. Has anyone heard of such a thing before? We learned a few family members purchased, and that the quality and price was good.

Yesterday, I spent a couple hours at our local watering hole selling raffle tickets. The prizes? Trays of meat.Options were everything from steaks and bacon wrapped chicken breasts, to small roasts, and beef and jerky sticks.I think this is must a Midwest thing, as I've never heard of this elsewhere, so comment if they do these where you live. Myself and four other volunteers sold in series of three, five different rounds for a total of 15 meat tray winners, color coded tickets for a spin the wheel type drawing.  Many people purchasing did so because the funds went back to the school. Still others are die hard meat raffle players, and are present every week when this occurs. 

This is a year round fundraising opportunity, but different non-profits/school clubs get different months. October is show choirs month. I think we have two more later in the school year. I've been in the bar when these have happened, bought tickets, but didn't really know the whole extent until yesterday.  As I said, there are some serious meat raffle players.  Some made sure they had a ticket from each tray each round so as not to miss out on the opportunity, and corrected us on how we were making our rounds in the bar. I thought it was just a little fun, but now wonder if it is just another feeding of someones gambling compulsion? I expected this to be just a few football fans, parents and friends of parents supporting the school, but no, there are meat raffle regulars. I guess on Saturday in the next town over there was a huge meat raffle for the football team, which another parent worked at, and it was just crazy with the amount of money raised. 

I helped raise money for the school and program and put a few dollars directly  in DD's account that will defray some costs for her trip or show choir costs later. I admit with money stretched so thin, every bit will help. What is the oddest fundraiser you ever helped out at or participated in?  What are your thoughts on meat raffles, or raffles of any kind for fundraising?

To Job or Not to Job- My Teen Question

My youngest has a busy school and extracurricular schedule. She also needs, dare I say, requires, a certain amount of downtime, to keep her own stress levels at bay. Lately she has been talking about wanting to get a part time job, perhaps starting in the summer. I'm all for kids earning the extra's in life, but I also don't want her involvement, and her grades to be impacted. Plus, she will be working for 50 years once she is out of highschool. I want her to build up experiences now. Though, part time jobs are good experiences, if a good fit. I'm perplexed.

My son had weekend and summer spot jobs through high school. He did things like painting and yard clean-up, occasional office work at my then work, and some things for his grandpa's shops and rentals. He probably could have taken on more, lord knows he didn't do that much around the house, and no winter sport. But fall and spring he was in football and track practice daily, often into the evenings. DD#1 started a job in a grocery store just before her junior year of highschool. The store was a block and 1/2 a way, and she didn't get that many hours, maybe 10-12 a week. By her junior year, she was no longer doing sports, and had just a couple intramural type activities. She was taking over half her classes at the local community college for high school and college credit, plus a few more, almost all of which transferred when she went to the University, helping her to graduate a semester early with two bachelor's degrees. The job was a good fit for her-she needed more to keep her busy, and keep her connected to kids her own age.

None of my kids are lazy, but they sure did not have the work drive I had as a teen. Quite frankly, other than the absolute necessities parents are required to provide, from probably the age of 12 when I started regular babysitting jobs, to when I corn detassled, then later worked in a newspaper, then grocery store, I was pretty self sufficient. There was no allowance to pay for movies out with friends, or a day hanging out in the mall and grabbing a treat at the food court. If I wanted those things, they came out of my earned money.  Occasionally a couple dollars would come our way, and we had a little allowance for school clothes shopping to start the year. By no means was I deprived, but often felt-knew, we kids were a financial burden for our parents, so we didn't even ask for things. While theses skill helped me a lot in college and starting out my family, in many ways I developed some unhealthy anxieties about money, struggling with using it for things other than necessities, but then later binge spending on stupid things. The balance is still a struggle for me.  

We agreed that she could look into options for now. We have a short list of places that might be possible while allowing her to not give up her activities. Should she decide to stop cross country, the extra choirs and orchestras, the plays, soccer, and her clubs, the options might expand. She'll take the odd babysitting job when her schedule allows, and continue to do volunteer stints-which I think is just as useful as a paid job in developing a work ethic. Meanwhile, she is building quite a portfolio for potential scholarships, which long term could net her much more than $7.25 an hour schlepping soft serve ice cream in a cone. 

Where do you think part time jobs fit in the scheme of teen life? Am I being over sheltering or smart about trying to preserve her active high school life? 

Sloppy Check Book and the Stupid Fee

Even in my flat busted broke days, I did not use overdrafts, bounce checks, or incur late fees.  I was meticulous about balancing my checkbook to the penny each month.  With the world of direct deposit, online instant access to balances, and the overconfident feeling that we now aren't living check to check, has got me sloppy.  Actually both DH and I have gotten sloppy-not balancing at the end of the month, but feeling like things are great because we always leave a cushion, and if we get close to the end of the checkbook, direct deposit is only a day or two away.

Imagine my surprise, and the gut punch feel to my stomach when I stopped to get cash and got the message this morning, "You do not have enough in this account.  Do you wish to use overdraft protection?"  Noooooo my inner voice railed.  I had to have the cash though, as DD#2 needed funds for her cross country meet, traveling more than an hour away, and stopping for dinner after.  I took out $20, gave to her, and left myself with no cash.  After I dropped her off, I quickly called and checked my balances-yep, $0 in the account.  Nothing!  While I knew we were under $130, I though we would be fine until tomorrow when my check is deposited.  I looked and learned we actually had a couple earlier checks clear without funds, and sitting there was already a $12.50 fee, plus now the one for today.  Stupid $25.00 in fees that could have gone into my new account.  On top of this, I just wrote a check for $38.00 for a sports banquet. 

 We both must have had  ATM or or other withdrawals that we didn't track accurately, or failed ot track at all. We have the money in other accounts which makes this so frustrating-just bad book keeping.  We like to keep only what we think we need in the check book, assuming it might be too easy to spend.  In the "old days" if we didn't have enough in the check book, we didn't spend at all-nothing. Now, we are likely to write the check, smuggly thinking the deposit will be in place before the check clears.  That could have been part, and there might have been an overdraft fee or two that slipped in before.  Add those, a withdrawal not posted, and any math errors, and we have found ourselves, $200 roughly off of our balance.  It really is the little things-savings or the stupid fees.  I call this stupid because it wasn't as if the money wasn't there, it was just dumb management. 

This weekend I will do some back tracking.  I will follow-up on any automatic billings set to come out, and uncleared checks, and get a fresh new start.  When the month ends, I vow to balance and make sure this does not happen again.  Never again do I want to sit in a car at 6:45 a.m. with my daughter beside me, with a flashing sign on the screen.

Instead

I've been pondering decision making lately.  Pondering about pondering I guess.  For every choice we make, and there are hundreds upon hundreds in a week, we could have made another choice instead.  Some decisions, and the implication of that decision are pretty benign.  I can make myself a cup of coffee, or have a cup of tea.  Some have modest impact, especially when done repeatedly over time.  I can do one more load of laundry before going to bed and throw in the dryer in the morning, or save the load for Saturday and do back to back loads, saving some of the energy use of the dryer. In order to get maximum use of time and money, no doubt some mental gymnastics need to occur.  At what point though does the pondering over choices start to be the hindrance in life satisfaction?  At what point should I just put goals and values into the decisions about time and money instead of after thoughts of what I should have done instead?

Take for instance going out for dinner.  I know that for our little family of three at home, going out to our local favorite for dinner, not counting any drinks, is going to run us minimally $38 with tax and tip. There will be at least one meal worth of take home so let's call it four meals at $9.50 per meal.  I know myself, and virtually every other woman I know can pull together a pretty decent meal for her family for $9.50. There are many choices at play here. We could decide not to go, having determined that the $28.50 additionally spent on meals could be better spent elsewhere, or added to a short or long term savings goal.  We could still go, having determined that it would be an opportunity to connect with each other without the distractions of bills on the table, phone call interruptions, and the lure of electronic devises. Ideally, what we should do is to apply the decision to go out for dinner or not, against our families goals of short and long term savings for college, travel, and retirement, and our value of spending quality time together with those we love. The answer isn't always stay home because making dinner will cost less, nor should it be assumed that going out for dinner will provide the respite and connectedness I want.

I don't want to live in guilt for every purchase I make of an item or meal that could have been made or sourced cheaper.  I also don't want to throw money at things in a false attempt that I am gaining time and rejuvenation.  Last week I spent a couple extra hours after DD's basketball game hanging out with her in St Paul, in the trendy neighborhood that is great to cover on foot when the weather is right.  We had a nice lunch in an Indian restaurant, where she tried food she has never had before, chatting and wondering if she could learn to make Indian food as it was proclaimed "insanely good." It was quite cold, but we braved the elements and walked up and down the street for blocks, stopping in stores but making no purchases.  we found another independent book store that she really liked, and decided the next time she had money to spend on books, she wants to come back.  She was shocked at the prices of scarves and hair clips and other accessories at Anthropology, and later talked on the way home how she might be able to find or craft her own versions without, "the insane money they wanted".  She later Googled "Anthropologie like look for less" and found a variety of blogs and web sites. She determined that when she is grown up, she absolutely has to live in a city that has lots of places to walk to, and good transit.  It was a good thee hours with my fourteen year old with a price tag of $23 for lunch, but with priceless conversation. We could have just gone home, but I'm glad we didn't.

I'll try to make decisions based on our priorities and not just convenience or the mood of the hour. I won't avoid spending to the point of being the curmudgeon who seldom joins in. I may suggest more modest places if going out and the place of choice is beyond our means, but that doesn't mean I won't ever splurge. Money and time spent on gratifying experiences can be worth the price. Of course, if I can get that experience for the lowest possible cost, all the better.

Frugality Needs to Get Real

I'm on my last weekend before I give official notice that I am jumping out of the race that my job has become.  Through all my financial calculation hoops, in the long run, the change will be net neutral.  In the here and now it means a nearly $1,000 a month cash flow change.  Time to scan the web and blogland for serious frugal advise.  My new frame of reference for 2015, and I must mean it this time, is living life well on a dime. I need to do this without setting aside long term, or even sooner plans to travel, spend time with family and enjoy hosting friends.  I recognize even with this change, financially we are better off than most, and through no shortage of help and support by others along the way, so having time and money in our budget for giving is a priority.

In my post back in September, I shared my aspiration to live in the UK some day.  That translated into subscribing and following  many bloggers from across the pond.  While I enjoy the frugal tips, and the stories of others that have successfully downsized, much of the advise can't apply to me in the US.  We have different health care systems, different ways utilities work, and very different community structures in terms of where you can source food, clothes, and other necessities.  I've been following a local blogger, and do enjoy her ideas, articles, and tips to all the best shopping and family entertainment deals. Twin Cities Frugal Mom  However, we are in different life stages-she with still young children, and me with partial empty nest, needing to get one more through college as we also near retirement.  Those of you with the young ones need to check her site out. Recommendations of where you get your frugal ideas are appreciated.

Twenty-something  years ago, I came across the Tightwad Gazette series of books.  Originally published in a newsletter form, the author Amy Dacyczan put together her collection of the best tips into three different books. Based on the ages her children were when the last book came out, and when the newsletter stopped in 1997, she very well might be a grandmother now, whose own children are raising their families with the skills she taught them. Copies of her book are still in print and used copies can be found on Amazon, Barnes and Nobel, and Alibris.com. Here is an interview I found with her from a year ago on the Simple Dollar. Interview with AmyDacyczyn, the author of the Tightwad Gazette

When I had young children, before DD#2, and before I had moved into the management ranks, money was even tighter than it will be now even with this income drop.  We had very little savings after having moved into a new house, not a large house, but with twice the mortgage of our tiny little 650 square foot starter home.  Neither of us was doing anything towards retirement yet.  While I honestly can say many of her ideas and thoughts made me a bit squeamish and I didn't have the patience or aptitude for others, the principles and discipline she instilled were admirable.  I used what I could of her ideas, but to admit to being frugal, or worse, be accused of being a tightwad, did not fit the go-go 90's and the dawn of the new millennium. We made some poor financial decisions on the spending front, and let money slip like vapor from our wallets when we got caught trying to keep up with the wants of others.  That changed in 2008/2009 and many families, ours included, are trying to recover.  I think there is more realization that money should just be a tool to life's goals, not the goal itself, and like me, are opting to get off the merry go round, in favor of a calming swing.  We are paying our retirement savings first, so I feel pretty confident that we will retire comfortably, where we want to, but need some belt tightening on our daily living. Frugality is now in fashion.

This weekend will be a financial house cleaning and a walk down memory lane. I'll do a good pantry and cupboard sort, and start some meal planning, making sure we don't waste anything in the house. The sorting will  include kitchen, bathrooms, and laundry room, all areas where money vapors seem to impact. I plan to dust off my Tightwad Gazette books, and while a bit antiquated since more than two decades have passed, I am sure I will find some regained inspiration. It will be like reminiscing with an old friend.

Time is on our side

I'm a big Rolling Stone's fan, though I have certain favorites, where the words and music seem ageless.  Paint it Black, Satisfaction, and Time is on our side are three favorites.  I've been thinking a lot about where, how and who with I spend my time, in fact, it is one of the main reasons I started this blog. We all have the same 24 hours and each of us splices those hours up based on their own necessity, and priorities.  I believe there is a relationship between money and time, that goes beyond the "time is money" cliché.  After necessities, where we choose to spend other dollars reflects our priorities. When those get out of balance, say a person is working more and more hours to earn more and more money beyond what is needed, but then have little free time to do anything meaningful, life is out of balance.  Similarly with those that load their calendar with more and more obligations, then they lose out on simple and of the moment experiences, because they are too busy.  In the last year I saw my life spiraling in that work longer and longer, over committed treadmill, and I didn't like what I was seeing.

This week was the final shaking I needed to confirm my calendar and budget needs a good rattling.  I won't share much as it is not my story to share, but a lifelong friend lost her husband following a two decade on and off battle with illness.  Barely into his 50's, hearing the stories and experiences about this life shared, one knew he didn't let constant worry over shadow a happy life.  He put time on his side, and while I am heart broken for his family, I know they know he put them first on his priorities.

My husband and I celebrated our 27th anniversary yesterday.  I don't know where the time went, because some days I feel about as immature and stupid as I did at 21!  On the way and during dinner, too often our conversation centered around work, and what was going on mostly at my office.  We had to enforce a no work rule, but even then references crept in.  I don't want to spend my 28th anniversary talking about work-I want work to be a side note on my life, not the all consuming bear it has become.  It is harder to do that when you work in an industry that also mirrors personal passion, but the issues I work with can be discussed as societal, and the office workings can be left there. l am exploring other opportunities that while may end up with less pay, should result with less hours of actual work and being "on call" and more room for where to I'd rather be. Of course take home pay will be less, and we don't want to reduce three financial priorities, retirement investment, support for college, or a little travel now and then, so the tips on frugality will really be followed in the blogosphere. I don't think my contribution to the world will be any less.  I'll keep you posted.        

So the weekend should be a good one.  It s cool, but sunny, perfect for getting some long walks and hopefully some apple picking done.  I've just had a couple cups of coffee and DD #2 and I devoured 1/2 a tube of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls.  She has an event to help with at the public library, so I may spend an hour or so perusing the stacks and reading magazine issues I don't subscribe to.  Supper is in the crock pot-kind of a pasta fagioli soup that I made with what I had on hand, so  a fair amount of tradeoffs and substitutions.  Cross your fingers.  What about you all?  Any advice for keeping control of the calendar and clock?  Have any of you taken a step back in career and salary in order to create more personal time?  How did it turn out?