Friday, February 5, 2016

Building Bigger Tables instead of Taller Fences

Good fences make good neighbors. I've heard that expression, but I don't believe it.  I miss our old neighbors Sand S, followed by K and S. No fence between our yards, and lifelong friends we became. Sharing tools, beers, burgers, and pizzas and loads of conversation, kids running between the yards. There is still no fence there, but the relationship with the new neighbor is not warm and friendly, but it is cordial, and I have hopes that some day she will accept my offer to sit on the deck and share a beverage or two. For now, I'll just continue to give a polite wave and hello. On the other side is a house with a nice new fence.  They have four children under six, one with special needs, so for safety, they have felt the fence necessary.  However, the two weeks between the old fence coming down and the new one going  up, we had more face to face chats than we did for the whole previous two years they lived there. DH even helped corral one of the wild bunch trying to make an escape and got a little buddy out of the deal. 

On my good days, I think a lot about acceptance and grace, and appreciating the difference in people. Breaking bread together, physically or metaphorically, heals a whole realm of ills, and lets people see and know the inner parts of being as opposed to just the outer shell. Recently I came across a meme on Facebook retorting back all the anti immigrant sentiment. I love it, and hope that in my own small way, I'm adding space at the table for a few more mouths. 
I'm of better mind today.  A nice sleep in and a little perspective can do wonders. It is pay day and in looking at my stub, I realize I have a lot more sick and annual leave accrued than I had thought. Today is my day off, but I do need a real break. Let planning mode begin, but today, a book, a soft arm chair by a fire, and a cup of Dunn Brothers will be my retreat away from home for an hour.


  1. I love your sentiments here! I so agree with you. I think we build fences when we feel hurt or frightened, unsafe, maybe not even physically - just some part of our soul wants protection. Some part of us is that child who has special needs... I'm feeling extremely vulnerable lately, and honestly, see many tall fences around me... but I'm trying to take down the fences, on my side I mean. It is not an easy process and takes lots of courage. Hopefully, step by step, some day it'll be completed.

    1. It is hard sometimes-fences, regardless if real or subliminal, divide thoughts and words.


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