Positively Tuesday-And a Dose of Humility

     I miss Scarlet's writing at When Robins Appear. I see she has removed past posts and I can only  imagine that the  mean spirited trolls have been at her again. Why is it so hard to just scroll on by someone if you don't have anything meaningful to add to the post via comments. I have been guilty of that recently when the  very decisively  opinionated post of a fellow blogger touched a nerve with me. I tried to be polite in my response, and wish the writer well, but I did apologize in my follow-up comment to her comment that I  did go too far in expressing my own  viewpoint. 

     With that, I'm adding another goal for 2020-Be more humble. I know little to nothing in the scheme of everything there is to know in the world.  Why I started with my missing of Scarlet's post is that she shared an honest side of life, when all is not roses, but that a couple, a family, can still be so rich in love and  sharing of talents. For those that didn't get to enjoy her posts, she often shared how she refreshed her home, managed not one but two allotment plots, and supported  her husband and  adult children in navigating the  highs and lows of their lives without a large income, but with grace, grit, tenacity, and humility.

     Depression, chemical and alcohol  abuse, and other mental health issues is quite pervasive in my extended family. My sisters and I have discussed why we think this is so. Perhaps it skipped a generation, though the alcohol and chemicals were not strangers to many of the older kids. We know now our mom must have struggled with her own mental health, she was very much  on highs and lows, and we never quite knew what to expect from day to day, sometimes even moment to moment. Her moodiness coupled with  lack of financial resources was probably why I and my sisters and on either side of me became self sufficient early. Maybe it didn't skip us, but we developed this cloak of  self preservation. I would guess my older siblings think the the youngest three (I'm 9 of 10), were given much more by our parents than they ever had. We doubt that, but maybe we each just  had opportunities at the right time and because there was just less chaos, we could see them as opportunity and take advantage. I've never understood why the oldest six never went to any  schooling past high school, except later in life. I think they had the opportunity, but  couldn't see it, or felt they couldn't take advantage of it at the time. I often lose my humility within my own extended family, carry chips on my shoulder, and get easily frustrated when people overwhelm me or  I perceive they are trying to dictate to me. 

     Right now, we are collectively dealing with my niece again. She doesn't have parents to fall back on, and continues in a cycle of bad decisions, lack of motivation and apathy to try and change her circumstances. To let her fend for herself is not an option-we are family and we can't  celebrate Christmas one week, and turn our back the next. Yes, we are all tired of the self created chaos, the choices and excuses she makes. I want to know what her  doctors are doing to help her develop some sort of life coping skills. I'm frustrated that I know that even if that is part of her therapy, she most likely is not following through on anything. I'm frustrated with her two siblings grown men, that while they have families of their own, take no responsibility for her, which in and of itself probably adds to her mental health harm. We as her aunts cannot do the same thing.  I just needed to share some of this so that I  can get my frustration out, so I can now be more humble as I try and show support-through helping her apply for part time jobs, to making sure she has nutritious food, and transportation available so she does not isolate herself and compound problems.