So What Did 2019 Teach Me?

    

     
     This is my last post of 2019. Technically, 2020 ends the decade, not 2019, but everyone puts importance on the start ending in a 0, so it is the last post of the 20teens. My life in some ways is very different than it was a year ago, and in others, I feel the same-perhaps even stuck a bit. I became an empty nest mom, though have had the birds fly back home now and again to visit. I'm slowly finding new things to keep me amused, and in some ways have resumed a few aspirations that I had before I was a mom. Here are my reflections, or perhaps lessons from the year now behind me.

January

I learned that occasionally I can write an Internet burning post, and get yelled at via the comments in the process. Last January I opened my retirement account and I was transported to 2008 again, you know when the housing bubble was bursting and people were losing their socks in their retirement and investment accounts. In my post, My Retirement Account Made Me Cry, I had over 600 views. Up until that time, I doubt I had 600 views a month! I delete spam of course, but I keep comments that might be negative, as long as they are not hateful or hurtful. I find it interesting though that these comments usually, and with other bloggers, are anonymous. not even a first name or a user name. Maybe 2020 will be my year to crack through the blogger barrier and get over 50 followers. Dare to dream. 

February

Ah, the month the oven broke! DD2 was going to make bread for her boy friend for  Valentines, and no heat to be had. I learned to be resourceful for more than two months, and did without a working oven until we blew a small fortune and replaced all the kitchen appliances. I learned to appreciate the microwave, stove top, and crock pot immensely. It was a good reminder of patience as well. We didn't rush out and spend an equivalent amount to get it fixed, and researched exactly what we wanted for appliances before buying. 

March

My youngest taught me it is OK to give up a long term dream that isn't right for you when she ended up choosing the smaller private school over her dream school, the big university. I guess I should have learned it already after I left the career path I was on, and settled instead of becoming an Executive Director of a non-profit that it was just as fulfilling, and perhaps in the long run, a better fit to be a smaller fish in a big pond that can have a lot of impact. I've stopped applying for positions that 5 -10 years ago I was being recruited to apply for.

April

After the second April in a row where we had record snow storms and many spring plans cancelled, I learned I absolutely, positively, need to retire somewhere with no snow. The novelty of four seasons wears off really fast after five full months of shoveling, scraping windows, and  white knuckle commutes. Now, to decide where? Recommendations are welcome. I don't mind rain, but need sun from time to time. I also don't mind cold-it's the snow that gets old. DH hates the sweltering heat and would want to still have as much of Minnesota late spring, summer, and early fall as possible-you know both months of it.  I serious could see myself in a small village, with transport to big cities, in the UK. I know they get the odd snow fall from time to time, but well, give me your thoughts. (That is not a realistic permanent solution due to rules and such, but we could go for up to six months time.) 

I also started the trivia group, beginning with just a shout out to interested parties, and resulting in a nice healthy group of 8 regulars and spouses and children and other friends that join in form time to time. Adding this to my social calendar has been one of the best time investments I've made recently for myself. 

May

This was the month where the  decision to replace the stove and oven led to a new floor in the kitchen and entry. I also learned I can do a little DIY and salvaged our old freebie farmhouse table by painting the Windsor chairs and table legs black, and the table top brown. Sorry-still no pictures to show. I am inspired though to make what we have last and perhaps just get it all refreshed. As part of my Christmas gift, DD1 is going to help me  clean out and update my office. She even got me this lovely wall hanging for it. 

June

I learned when you raise kids to be individuals and try and support each one being their own version of themselves, they are fully there for each other. My son came home for his youngest sisters party, and both kids helped us tremendously get ready for it. My older daughter was probably as proud as we were at the ceremony. I hope I never compare my kids to each other in terms of aspiration and talent, but that they all have kind hearts. 

July

I learned my older daughter is even more savvy and wise and adventurous than I ever was, and probably ever will be. She took another dream vacation to Iceland with a UK grad school friend, and got royally crapped on by the car rental company after a problem with the car that they blamed on them and charged for ridiculous repair costs. She planned ahead, and while it was stressful until the insurance came through she had the forethought to plan for the worst. She didn't let what could have been a financial disaster ruin her love for travel, and has booked a trip and leaves in just a few weeks for New Zealand. I am proud of all my kids, but this one, my older daughter, continues to be an advocate for mental health, supporting others, as she works daily to be stronger herself. Is it always easy-definitely not, and the dark days come, but she fights through, and keeps looking forward. 

August

We officially became empty nesters this month. And guess what, the world as we know it might have changed, but it still is going round on its axel. I learned to let go, mostly because I didn't have a choice, but it is time. I did my job raising three wonderful kids, now three wonderful adults. August was so focused on getting our youngest ready for college, I had to intentionally slow down and enjoy the remining days with her, despite them being filled with  physicals, orthodontist and dentist, and eye appointments. 

September

I learned I love so many vegan foods! I attended Veg fest with my older daughter who worked it as a volunteer. I got in on lots of free samples while she was working, and later we split some tasty morsels like mac and cheese, butternut squash pizza, and a chocolate donut that was beyond decadent. Doing more plant based, whole food cooking should help manage DH's salt intake, and perhaps my weight issues. Bonus, anytime I get one to one time with any of my kids, it is a win. Other vegan foods tried sine September included my daughters homemade veggie pizza, burrito bowls (though I guess I added cheese), cupcakes with my great niece, and Christmas cookies. 

October

I took a week off in October when my daughter had fall break and discovered I'll Do OK in Retirement. I don't know why I was worried that once I retire, I'll not have enough to keep me busy. Well, quite the contrary. I know I'll be able to stay as busy as I want after not being able to fit nearly as many things into my week as I wanted. I invested time in myself a bit this month too. I attended a Blogger event with my daughter and even signed up to attend one alone in November as she had a conflict. 

November

It was affirmed that November is just going to be a tough month for me. It's not the Birthday Blues alone, but when work travel is coupled with birthday and death anniversaries for my mom and sister, it was a lot emotionally. This was the month I was going through a lot of tests as well, while waiting on results. I added additional life insurance, again, planning for the worst while hoping for the best. It took a scare to realize I was drastically underinsured. Next year we have our trip to Las Vegas to plan, and my daughters holiday concert will be in November. I learned I need to plan fun, something to keep me from getting too low each November.  

December

I had lessons once again that if you don't have your health, it's hard to live a good life Getting through my scare, and for now just having semi regular tests and monitoring was a gift. DH falling down so hard to the flu, and the subsequent lingering fatigue and illness, wiped the relief away. Now,as we enter 2020, well past the middle of our lives, our focus needs to be on quality of our health.

     Looking back over the year, and it seems rather dull and boring. Most of the action happened by other people and I was an observer. I'd like to make 2020 a year where I am the focus of my personal show and on the sidelines. We won't have much spare money, but I have time to invest in experiences. I am hopeful that the little lessons from 2019 are remembered to make 2020 a great start to the decade.