The fatigue is setting in on the stay at home, even more so as little glimmers of the past start to reemerge with more businesses opening. As the weather gets nicer, justification for social gatherings increases. "We're all outside and spread apart." "People are safer with friends over than if they went to the grocery store." "It's just my son and a couple other kids playing." I know. I'm doing it as well, though am worried my and others fatigue, with an unseen enemy, push risks we haven't been taking for nearly 8 weeks.
Tuesday is my most stressful day. I go shopping for my mother-in-law,. She has a very specific list, and at a store I don't like to shop at, but I do it to make sure she doesn't just start going for herself. We only convinced her the week before Easter that it would be better for her not to be in stores. We think she probably had friends allowing their children to shop, so finally acknowledged she shouldn't be in public places. I think she is sick of me doing this for her-was even a bit cold towards me this past Tuesday, so I think the isolation is getting to her. I'm expecting to hear from her come May 18th when the current extension, though modified, of Stay at Home is reached, that she will resume shopping. I'll let DH and her kids have that conversation with her. Though, DH really never pushed for this-I more so did, and his brother even on April 5th was saying, "she says she is OK doing her own shopping." I feel like my kids and my one sister-in-law, the one I normally clash with, are the only one that really appreciate that at 79, she is in a the high risk population.
I get it to an extent. She is used to having her Independence, in a world that every day is filled with 2-3 social engagements, not being out and about is hard. While she keeps busy with on-line bible study's and talks on the phone all day, she wants some normalcy. She also doesn't want to be a bother, but mostly,wants things back the same, or as much as possible. They had a cabin meeting and all she would say is, "people need to be smart." DH pushed her to say what she means, and she just would repeat. She doesn't want to make rules for others. I find that strange because she has laminated sheets posted inside cupboard doors with all kinds of cabin rules. But, she doesn't want to make rules about health and safety that literally could keep her from getting sick and dying.
My brother-in-law of course, got defensive about his family, blustering that he can't be following his kids around disinfecting everything. They at least came to agreement, and we'll see if this lasts, that no one but the immediate family, no friend groups, extended family should be coming and staying at the cabin. Well that lasted all of about a week, when brother-in-laws wife texted me that my niece was still "open" to having her baby shower on June 13th at the cabin. Well, won't that involve other people beyond just our family? It will of course be outside, or in the event of rain, the garage. Well people will need the bathroom, the out of town relatives will need somewhere to sleep.Here's what will happen. If no one test positive for the virus within two weeks of the shower, which coincidentally will be right before the July 4th holiday. My guess is the same BIL and SIL will push for a free for all. "Look, it's totally safe!"
I'm for opening up as safety allows, as states monitor any fluctuation in cases. I also feel once things start opening up, the Genie will be out, and I can't see governments having the appetite under pressure to go what critics will say, backwards. Because of this, states should not rush! I know people will look within their circle, their county or city and if low cases feel it's overblown. However, I keep hearing of cases and even deaths within my seven degrees or closer of separation, and makes me think how flippant the open now attitude can be. I am pained for those losing jobs, businesses suffering. My family is greatly impacted too. If you've stayed with me this long, thank you. Others may have different perspectives, and I welcome all polite and respectful comments and conversations.
Friday, May 8, 2020
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We have a similar perspective, and want to be cautious. We are also trying to find ways to safely connect (e.g. planning on seeing family in June, in a socially distanced way, etc, assuming everything moves towards normalcy & no one is sick). It's really hard to plan, and so difficult to know which decision is best at this point
ReplyDeleteI'll be paying a lot of attention to my interaction with other people, their attention to safe precautions. If I am uncomfortable, I'll most likely decline participation. I' trying to do my own analysis as well, and see if I can figure out when that curve is actually flattened.
DeleteI think the greatest cause of unrest is the unknown. People don't understand the risk because we are not being given all the information, even less so lately, it would appear. I would like to believe Americans, for the most part, are willing to make great sacrifices when they fully understand the need. I believe you are correct in your belief that we are getting ready to unleash a genie, only I'd call it more of a "Pandora's Box." I would like to see us get back to normal, too, but at this point, I don't think I know what normal is.
ReplyDeleteHow does anyone fully understand what it seems no one really knows. With exponential cases still happening and areas that claim they weren't impacted, now flaring up, I worry people just fill in the gaps with what they want the information to be.
DeleteWe too are extra cautious. I was particularly pissed (so was hubby) that the kids Mom kept insisting they come for Sunday supper (2 kids that live near where she does). What do you say to your Mom when the Province is saying otherwise? Whatever. Little we can do about it. The lady across the street kept saying the virus was brought on by people using hand sanitizer....that was in the beginning of March. We haven't seen her since. I used to consider her a friend but with that kind of thinking she won't be invited to our back yard, even 6 feet away
ReplyDeleteThe decision people make and don't think the overall guidelines apply to them-selfish. I agree some things make no sense, like Cost Cos and Walmarts packed, and small little tore that easily can control the environment better, closed. That's part of why the store my MIL wants me to pic things sup bothers me-too big, and people less likley to mask.
DeleteActually I feel safest at our Costco, mostly because the Province limits any store regardless of size to max 50 people - plus the staff all wear masks there although they are not mandatory for public like in the USA now. My small store I find it too closed in and sometimes seniors are the worst at social distancing (I think they forget, not doing it on purpose)
DeleteI'm glad you feel safe and people are doing safe practices without requirements.
DeleteI am being cautious but also moving forward. I feel like there comes a time when you have to make that step to step out of the isolation of your own immediate home and family that lives with you. Here in our county we have had 20 positive cases, with 15 of those being people who worked outside of our county and was traced to their work. I have widened my circle to include my parents and those at their house (my sister, her girlfriend, my brother, his girlfriend, and my niece and nephew) as I know that they are social distancing due to my sister's medical issues. I have also started doing our grocery shopping as DH was doing it. I only shop at one store though a week wearing a mask. Ohio is opening things up this month and we shall see how it goes. I am also supposed to start back to babysitting "A" next week as her parents go back to work. I know they have been social distancing as well as the mom is pregnant and can't risk getting sick. I think the biggest fear is the unknown and not knowing what is going to happen.
ReplyDeleteThere's been child care all along. You sound like you are moving but carefully and slowly.
DeleteIt's tough isn't it. After so long in lock down people feel the need to release pressure but I agree with you. It has to be done slowly and carefully. One mad rush to "make up for lost time" will send this thing skyrocketing again I fear.
ReplyDeleteIt' likely I'll be working from home through June for the most part, and hope it helps with exposure. I do feel most will get it, or some version, but hope it is once that curve flattens. I feel so bad for those living in hot spots.
DeleteThe only thing I fear is that Tommy will be all for going to church and getting hugs from all these elderly women who hug ever soul in sight, except for me. It took a lot for me to keep him home, and the church voluntarily stopped meeting.
ReplyDeletePeople will go overboard and spread the coronavirus even more. Mark my words. I do fear that we may be conditioned to follow the government in everything. But, surely we are a nation of people who can tell the difference in control for control's sake and control for our life and the lives of children. Actually, it appears now that children are at more risk than anyone thought.
The thing I fear right now is the fact that the virus news is going to be kept from us or not be as prominent and available as it has been.
The complications some children have had are scary.
DeleteI hate being hugged gratuitously anyway-so people better keep back from me!