Maintaining my own mental health is a recurring topic in my blog. I try not to share things about others mental health and their state, but it seeps into my mind and often owns my emotions. People I love are hurting and I don't know how to help. I can listen, I can love them, but I can't fix a dang thing. It makes me feel like I'm failing them. I don't understand why some people just can't seem to get a break. I just hope they can find their own positively Tuesdays or any other day of the week and get to the next day, and the next, and eventually it won't feel so hard. I know that's cryptic, but all I can say.
We've got a major plumbing issue that's scheduled for Thursday and it's going to disrupt another part of the house- the main entry and living space. I'm sick thinking about the mess, the amount of time to get it repaired, and more chaos in the house. DH just doesn't have an organizational bone in his body for things in our own home. Work yes, his mom's house, the cabin, yes. We get the remnants, and it's not much.
I tried to not think about that the last four days. It was a good but also challenging weekend. I'm drained and very happy to take today off as well. I guess that's where I'll start with finding 10 positives for the week.
- My older daughter changed her plans and spent Saturday to Sunday at the lake too. It feels like reinforcements to my patience when both my daughters are with me when we're with extended family on DH's side.
- It's bittersweet, but I enjoyed seeing all the littles at the cabin.
- My MIL hit a deer, but fortunately worse case is she'll need her front headlight and turn signal repaired. She was fine but a bit shaken. It could have happened to anyone, but I think DH and his siblings need to pay attention more to her driving. I road with her three years ago and found she drives aggressively, very fast and then tries to stop short coming to lights and stop signs. Probably not the best technique with reflexes and mobility slowing.
- Admittedly, I did some catch-up work from Thursday and Friday so as to be less swamped Wednesday, but had from Thursday 3:00 until last night at 7:00 off work. Today will be focused on my home and more reading.
- Monday and today's morning coffee in the early hours was calming. Calming, full on caffeine! I'm trying to cut back but still want, no need, these couple large morning cups to shake my cobwebs.
- Bagged loads more to donate. I'm splurging on gas and doing it today to get out of the house.
- I read for pleasure. I finished Ya Ya Sisterhood, and started Theatre for Dreamers.
- I got caught up on several blogs after having spotty internet. I miss the blogging community on days I'm less engaged.
- I captured a couple recipes for future My Wednesday Pantry posts. I like to have a little back story on the food when I post.
- The flowers from several weeks back are still looking lovely. Ignore the painting and sweeping that needs to be done on the threshold, but I love my Dollar Tree tins holding these purple pansies. ( I think that's what they were but feel free to correct me.) I'm even seeing some of the seeds sprouting in my planter. Simple pleasures.
I like the quote Lori shared the other day in her W's. It really is important, to paraphrase John Burroughs, to live as if the days are too short to think, listen, act on all the things we want. It's tough for me to not get so caught up in gloom, sadness, and yes, bitterness at times. But I'm trying. I hope to be able to regale stories of exciting life events, good things that happened in my family, and be less glum. But between or until the next good thing, treating everyday as a gift to do something or notice things that are joys and simple pleasures is necessary too. The days are too short to not make them mine.
I had an absolutely lovely Sunday and Monday. Sunday we went to the lake and the weather was stellar. Monday I spent the first part of the day visiting my dad, then we had a cookout and a water balloon battle at home. Took a ride downtown and watched the sunset by the fountain at Point State Park, came home and had a night cap outside while looking for any early meteors. Caught a few but missed the bulk of the show. Up and showered, I’m going to wear the dress I bought from graduation but decided against last minute since it doesn’t have pockets. I’m working 11-7:30 and my big boss is coming today, insert eye roll here. Have a grocery pickup scheduled for after work and gotta run in Sam’s before they close for garbage bags. Back to the grind. Daughter and I have set June 1 as the target to get our lives together lol. House is a mess, she has a ton of clothes to purge, we have to stop eating out so much. Going to try to put in a solid two weeks before we celebrate her 18th birthday! My son got scheduled for jury duty while he will be on vacation but was able to thankfully reschedule. He handled it all on his own too so that’s a nice little bonus. Gotta find a little happiness wherever you can. JoAnn
ReplyDeleteYou're full on life right now! I'm glad you took advantage of those joyful opportunities. I saw none of the meteor shower- rarely see so that sounds terrific.
DeleteThank you for the shout out Sam! I love your last line...The days are too short to not make them mine. That sums it up. Enjoy your day!!
ReplyDeleteI tried to really use yesterday for me. Work gets 7-6 this week, or longer, but the nights are mine too.
DeleteThanks for sharing your positives. It's always such a nice framing exercise. Let's see, for me...I feel super lucky to have a mom & sister that I'm excited to spend time with, and that my mom is around to celebrate her 70th birthday. While the three of us are very different women, we get along well & appreciate each other. I'm also aware that as the parent of two boys, it's unlikely that trips like this will be in my future when they are older, so best enjoy them now with my mom.
ReplyDeleteI'm grateful that finals end on Thursday. And that we found a used car for the boys. And, insurance was super inexpensive (surprisingly). That's because Sam doesn't yet have his license (learners permit only). Once that happens, I know it will get super pricey.
And finally, we had a wonderful weekend. Nothing too exciting, but I spent time with a friend at a fun workout class, had fun with M on a date, and took the boys and a friend out bowling & to an arcade. Fun was had by all. The rest of the time was really pretty mellow & productive.
The girls trip sounds so good. Someday I'll try that again, but my daughter's need to be in a good state of mind! Insurance and teenagers is insane so it coming in lower than you thought is a win.
DeleteI made a comment to Son 2 about Daughter 4 not getting a break. He pointed out she did as they found the ovarian cancer at stage 1 instead of stage 3 that is common and she is has been in recovery since last Oct. I passed it on to her and she said that she needed to keep that in focus for her when she struggles. That she did get that break and was able to see her 1st grandchild come in to this world.
ReplyDeleteI remember I beat it once too, and my scare three years ago, turned out ok. I hope your daughter stays healthy, recovering, and has some real joys ahead of her.
Delete"The days are too short not to make them mine" - what wise words!
ReplyDeleteWe plan to have something to look forward to each day, today it was a trip to the charity shops! xxx
I like to think I make the most but I have more expectations than I do, action. I need to flip that.
DeleteI have to shoo the black dog away often. These past 6 months, I've been so busy, that I haven't had time, really, to focus on my own mh. I *NEED* a lot of quiet, meditative down time to function at my best. Fortunately, I have been very vocal/honest with my husband and kids over the years about what works and doesn't for me. These past months, the kids, DD particularly, have really helped keep me on course and respected my "space," if you will. It also helps, I think, that I have let them develop and then respected their own "best practices." That said, regular, compulsory extended family visits were the first things to go back in the day. You are a better person than I.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't say I'm a better person, but for DH and my children's sake, I keep doing the family things, but with my limits. They can call us weird, or me weird, but I need to realize, when I'm not physically with them, I rarely give them a thought.
DeleteI hope your family member/friend who is having difficulties gets some resolution as soon as possible. It's hard worrying about others and not necessarily being able to help, isn't it. And I'm so glad your MIL was unhurt when she hit that deer. Your description of her driving put me in mind of the Bob Newhart sketch when he was the driving instructor and Mrs. Webb was showing him "the other way of stopping"!
ReplyDeleteSome day I fear, she'll try to stop short and is going to slide into something- or worse. As for the family hurting, it's tough and layered. So resolution might need to be steps and probably always a bit unresolved.
DeleteIt is hard to see our loved ones suffer and not be able to help. I think men think they have to be the fixers, but you can't fix some things. Hope that things improve for your loved ones.
ReplyDeleteI like your last sentences too, and I think finding the joys does make us appreciate our lives more.
This house issue, water pipes, may put me over my edge in my own fragile mental health.
DeleteTommy does those quick stops, too. He never slows and keeps his foot on the gas until the last moment. He thinks I worry too much! That collision with the deer could have been so much worse.
ReplyDeleteYes, it could have been really bad. Your descriptions of Tommy in cars is worrying to me for everyone in his vicinity.
DeleteIt is very hard to be up for others. You don't know what to say, and then you feel bad. But we all need to be there. I love that your daughters stay extra at the cabin. My daughters came to Lil sis's daughters wedding to support me. My family can be a trial.
ReplyDeleteOh, his family has classic both passive and in your face agressive insults and digs. I'm better than I used to be letting it not get to me. But more than a day and I'm on egg shells.
DeleteI have a child who is having a difficult time and it worries me. I have four kids and I remember reading a mother is as happy as her unhappiesr child. It is true. Cindy in the South
ReplyDeleteI have three that are in different places of need. As I respond to this, one I usually don't worry about is having a hard time, and feeling sad about her summer job hunt.
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