I met N by happenstance about 10 years ago when we both had peripheral roles on a community project. The project never took off, but parts were absorbed into a bigger initiative. While we never really worked together, we connected on a professional and a personal level almost instantaneously. We started inviting each other to events that were "social professional" such as speaking events with a social hour or fundraising luncheons, and would meet periodically just for career and life check-ins. We just get each other. We have positions now in the public sector that are opposite sides of the same coin-counterparts in two different agencies. For the kind of "smarts" I value most in my daily life, she is probably the smartest person I know.
Our youngest kids are about the same age, but she is now just navigating the college selection world with her oldest. We talked about this, she knowing I've helped two kids brave this world already. N has just returned to work six weeks after a particularly rough health patch. I've been worried for so long about her and she looked healthier than I have seen her look in a while. I am feeling very thankful that she is back on her feet, back to being my colleague. But even more so, I'm thankful that we could connect for 75 minutes over soup and a sandwich and figure out life together. I've learned friends can be found when I might least be looking for them, but once found, the friendship needs care and at times, literally feeding.
It's probably conventional wisdom to assume that since I am turning 50, a great deal of my friends are also having milestone birthdays this year as well. We have a few parties on the calendar, a surprise party for tomorrow night. I am happy to celebrate with them all, but I have expressed decidedly for me, "no party." I would be very happy though to have an endless calendar of one to one or maybe even three and fours, lunch connections stretching throughout my 50th year. There is something energizing to me about breaking up my day to day routine with a good friends.
My birthday is in a month, a sister-in-law has one five days before, and the other just had hers in October. It is still tradition in DH's family to celebrate grown up birthdays in seasonal groups. We did this on Sunday for fall birthdays. I think my gifts to my sister-in-law's were spot on-renewed their regular magazine subscriptions-dull but appreciated, running t-shirts as they both, well, run, journal notebooks as both always have a little notebook in their purses, and jars of my raspberry rhubarb jam. I say my gifts, because I do the shopping, wrapping, etc. but they were from DH as well. He turns to me every time and will say, "What did we give them?" then he'll say out loud, "I hope you like them." It's the thought that counts.
I had lovely gifts of a sweat shirt, lotion, flashlight, wrist warmers, and something I would have never thought anyone would select for me. Take a gander at the top of the page. Now the wine is true me, through and through. The stiletto shoe wine caddy, um, not quite. This was picked out by DH's brother. Both his sister and I received one, hers in zebra print, mine in sparkly silver. She is a stiletto wearing, zebra print, chic kind of gal. I am a quickly grab the wine glasses out of the cupboard and run then under water in case their dusty, kind of gal. He joked before opening that if I liked it, it was both of them, but if it was a fail, it was all him. He had no doubts his sister would love it. He bought one for his wife, the October birthday girl, as well. She is naturally glam, but tends to have tastes more closely to mine in decorating, but can have a little fun.
Darn it, my inner voice said. I must have some glam in me somewhere, even if it is just in my wine choices. I have a cute little French chef wine caddy, and a wine rack with a French provincial vine pattern. I guess the Chi Chi Chic Stiletto will adorn my dining room as well-at least when my husbands family comes to visit.
I have been a participator in a writing exercise via my other blog, Sam and Coffee created just to hold my writing indulgence. The latest prompt was to write about the age I am now. As I am now less than three months shy of turning 50, a fretful milestone birthday for some. I am not particularly bothered by my age. I could do without the aches and pains, but manage with as few medications as I can. No, what bothers me, is the passing of years, and the reality that my "to do" list, will most likely outlive my life. I'm not talking "to do" list this time in terms of cleaning the oven, decluttering a closet, or vacuuming the stairs. This list is more relational to a bucket list, though not so grand. Sure, there are those big events I have on my wish list, or bucket list; traveling to far off places, writing a book and actually publishing it, taking an educational sabbatical, these all rank high.
What matters just as much, if not more, is my truly basic "to do" list. The big moments may be grand and memorable, but the little daily events outnumber 10-1. Stopping on a whim for an ice cream cone with DD#2 when I picked her up from practice, just because, was a good "to do." Sitting with DD#2, showing me her latest project on-line, and hearing more about her new (now official) job, just the two of us in the middle of a Friday morning, allowing my telecommuting morning to be interrupted for a bit, was a good "to do." In my post today, I decided there was again that link with time and money. You need money for some of the big experiences, but you need time for the ones like hanging out with friends for long afternoons chatting and laughing over cups of coffee. To have the time, means you need to have enough money somewhere to not be spending those same hours earning a living. It is a circular treadmill, one that I realize I haven't completely gotten out of. I am probably coming off as contradictory. I say my increasing age isn't bothering me, and yet this pending birthday is stirring up these thoughts. The difference in being bothered by an age, and being reflective of the passing of years, passing of time, is perspective and who you are and how you spend your time-no matter what your age.
I don't feel 50, but then when I was 21, I didn't feel 21. What is an age supposed to feel like, anyway? Things are in different places on my body; I creek when I get up. My fingers don't do what my brain is telling them to do at times, but in many ways, my mind seems younger than it has ever been, more nimble and if not accepting of different points of views, at least willing to listen. I guess I am saying I will try to strive towards a celebration of 50 years of life. Instead of lamenting about getting older, I want to look forward to how ever many more I have, while not being nagged inside that I'm letting down those that didn't reach whatever age I am. In this spirit, who's up for a party this year?
I have been at my company a lot of years and we have a good vacation policy, so the combination means I have quite an accrual of hours banked up. Unfortunately, my work load has been such that taking more than the odd day off every now and then has meant I am often at the point of maxing out further accrual. Since I have taken so little time off, I need to take a vacation day a pay period or technically I lose the benefit, so I will be trying to get some three day weekends in between now and the week of Christmas. I might trade for a Thursday as that is when hubby has his day off as he works Saturdays. Today is a teacher workshop day, so no school. With both daughters home, I was able to clear my calendar in the office. I brought work home, but that's another issue. .
It's gray and chilly today-typical Minnesota November, but I got a mess of errands done this morning, and in between loads of laundry, am helping my daughter decide what to purge before her move next week. She baked a double batch of chocolate chip cookies this morning as well, half to take along for her last weekend on the film set. In my last blog, I did a little brainstorming of ways to fight the urge to stay cooped up each night, now that the daylight is so fleeting. A few things are in motion. Eating the remaining cookies is not on the agenda.
The moonlight walk wasn't with a friend, but I did take pup for an extra long one last night. It was already getting a little cloudy, so the moonlight was dim, and not the type that lights up the walking path. We went an extra few paths and made it a pretty good walk even so.
I did a good browse of the community ed calendar. I was disappointed in the contents this time for my interests. There were lots of yoga, zumba, and computer classes, of which i should probably be more interested in. but very little crafts and cooking, more what I had in mind. there is lefse making class on the 20th, but I have a conflict. I was intrigued with the Over 50 offering of a scotch tasting class, but i am "under age." I haven't had that apply to me in 30 years when it comes to having a libation. It looks like no community ed class then for the near future, but, another catalog starts in January. It did serve as a reminder to pick up my walking pin, which for a $15 fee, gives use of the high school field house walking track, much appreciated in the height of winter.
With the extra day off, I'll continue to knock lot of things of my to do list, today, and put Saturday and Sunday to less mundane use. DD#2 folded a load of towels last night, without request, and even gathered up a load of jeans and sweatshirts, and did a load of clothes as well. I topped off groceries, hopefully the bulk needed for the rest of the month, minus some specif Thanksgiving purchases, and she also put away all the things in the bag. She might be trying to butter me up for something, but so far, nothing has been asked for. While I'm catching up on blogs, and we're between laundry loads, She was doing some violin practice, so I've been treated to a a little concert. She has been playing for three years now, and it is a delight to hear how she has progressed, though she is critical of her skills.
I popped into the dollar store near my house, not really for anything, but to browse and think ahead to items that are cheap but enhance the holidays. I picked up some greeting cards, a deal at 2 for $1.00, and I was ahead of the game so they weren't picked over. I found some cute stretchy gloves to have extras for purses and the car glove box, and some thin, non-pulling, ribbon type, head bands for DD#2 for basketball season. They have to be the soft ones-no plastic or metal at all. The stretch fabric kind can be quite pricey when you consider how many are lost in a season so at 6 for $1.00, this was bargain.
The woman ahead of me was buying an assortment of star shaped bric-a-brac, for what she said was going to be an awards night theme birthday party for her 12 year old daughter. The last one, she said, so decided to go all out. she had a bunch of star shaped helium balloons, star candy dishes, and glitter covered star twinkly lights as some of the décor items. Not trying to be nosy, but heard her total was under $20, so not too bad considering what the party stores would have charged her. She mentioned you can get directions for various party ideas on-line, which include games, recipes, activities, and story lines if you want to throw some role play into the event. Maybe if i am so bold to have impromptu guests over, I an do a quick internet browse and make it a theme night. Yeah, probably not.
I need to get back to task -load number three for today will be done soon, and I hope we are the final purging stage. It would be good to get the usable items out of the house and to the Goodwill or Family Services donation center yet this afternoon. Do you have fun or productive plans for the weekend? We have wine club tonight, and I am looking forward to some new reds to try. Have a fabulous weekend.
I am a fan of the links and postings shared on the internet via blogs, Facebook, and Pinterest. Nothing though warms my heart and makes my tummy rumble more though than seeing an old church cookbook. I found my motivation today, and it was looking at me from the corner of my kitchen counter where my cookbooks are stored. This particular one was a wedding shower gift I received in 1987, and reading the recipes is remembering the women, some long past away, and others that were probably about my age, just becoming empty nesters, and now are the elders in the church. These were the women that were called upon to bring salads and bars for funeral lunches, or after women's circle's service projects, or bible study lunches. They were the women that generously donated their baked goods for youth group fund raisers so all kids could go on retreats and ski weekends, and share and deepen their faith. I received one from a friend from her church the same year. It is lovely, but it doesn't quite hold the same appeal-no familiar names. Two years ago, our church published a new version. It is good, and has the names are my friends and parents of my children's friends, and yes, the women who are now the elders. The recipes call for a lot less butter, and ingredients that were not in the 1987 version like quinoa, chick peas, greek yogurt, and avacado's.
On my motivational list was baking. I was less than prepared, as I was down to my last two eggs. DD#2 learned a recipe in FACS class (family and consumer science) called Egg in a Frame where you cut a hole in the middle of bread, grill it like a grilled cheese, and fry a scrambled egg in the middle. She has mastered it, so has been making them all week for us for breakfast. I knew I had pumpkin in the pantry and was pretty sure I could get a single batch of a bread recipe with just two eggs. Here is the recipe I used. Notice how messy it is-I've used this dog eared and tattered page a lot, as evidenced by spills.
I use these little loaf pans, a gift from my sister in law for my birthday about 10 yeas ago. They are perfect for quick breads as the four hold one recipe, they bake faster, freeze easy, and make a cute little mini slice perfect for packing in lunches, or putting out on a plate when hosting people for brunch or just an afternoon. I was a little messy with my spooning, and pup came running when he heard the batter hit the floor, he just gave it a curious look, which surprised me he didn't just lick it up. I'll add pumpkin batter to coffee as the two things he won't eat indiscriminately.
I hope to be able to get one of these wrapped up for my father-in-law who had a birthday earlier in the week. Normally I would have doubled the recipe, and baked two smaller, but regular size loafs for our own eating, along with the mini loaves. I keep looking for these mini pans at a fair price but they are quite expensive, so am making due with just the four. My last picture is the finished loaves. I made the girls not cut into either until I could get a picture, but I am sure when I hit "publish" one loaf will be gone.
Do you have a go to cookbook that you use as much for sentimental reasons as for the recipes? Are there recipes that you know could be healthier or made cheaper, but you never mess with? I'm off to the next thing on my list. Later I'm meeting DH, and a few sisters and their husband for happy hour at the local bar and grill. Nice cheap beers, and tasty $5.00 appetizers, so not worrying about dinner tonight as there are leftovers for the girls. I'll be home early, in my jammies to watch Doctor Who, quite possibly nibbling on a piece of bread. Enjoy your Saturday.
Last week I wrote about refueling our individual tanks, and that my brain drain day is Tuesday's. Yesterday proved to not be such a downer-yeah. However, woke up with a streaming cold, that I had signs of for days but was trying to push through, my muscles ache, and I haven't even played volleyball yet today, and worse, I forgot my dear colleagues birthday! I am so sad about that. I had in my head that is is two days after my wedding anniversary, which is Friday, and it is actually 2 days before, October 8th. I had big plans after what she did last year for mine. We women should be allowed our celebrity crushes. Mine is George Clooney, and yes, I know he just got married. Considering Friday is my 27th wedding anniversary, I think I'll get over his marriage. Anyway, here is the lovely cake my friend got me for my birthday last November. Isn't he handsome!
Her crush is Tim McGraw. Mr. McGraw has been happily married to Faith Hill for I think a couple decades, and DF has been married for over 30 years herself, so I think both marriages are safe. My ideas was to have her walk into her office eon Monday morning, with Tim McGraw sitting at her desk, by putting a Tim McGraw face on one of our CPR dummies. When she shut her door, she was going to be greeted by pictures of Tim all over the back of the door. I could postpone, and still have her walk in on Monday morning-really birthday celebrations can last the whole month, can't they? Have any of you missed out on this? Will a delayed birthday celebration seem old? I could come up with an alternate-I could celebrate Tim McGraw's birthday instead. My friend does give me a birthday card every year on George Clooney's big day. Ahh, such is youth.
