Feeling Good Monday-Spring Motivation

      Well, I’ve definitely ebbed and flowed with my 2021 health and wellness plan. Still no working scale, so not sure if I’ve lost, gained, or stayed the same. Nothing dramatic in pictures since February 1 when I posted my starting place. I feel a bit less weighty, if that makes sense. All my clothes fit (the ones I wear) and my favorite jeans after a day or two if wear almost slide off. I think that’s just the fabric response, but good motivation even if not real. I truly have no excuses to not fit in extra walks. The dog needs them, I need them. My daughter has a lot of good equipment that I can  borrow a ther house to add more strength with the extra walking. She and I are thinking of sharing a CSA for produce. She did a misfit produce box, and made good use, but was too big and she gave us lettuce and celery. More fresh foods and produce, plus walking seems like a natural spring fitness boost. My son, when we spoke (See below), was encouraging me to do more planks, for arm, abdominal, and leg strength, but not hard on my joints. He's my "hippy yoga guru" as DD2 when she was little,  used to refer to people that practiced yoga. 

     Now that it’s truly spring, don’t say the “S” word,I’m noticing how listless my skin appears coming out of winter. I won’t even say anything about the neck. I hate the smell of self tanners, most anyway, but have recently learned through YouTube that ones exist that are nice smelling and light, and just give a kiss of sun, rather than the flaky orange look. Research is needed, and happy to take recommendations. It must work well with SPF as I swear by sun protection. Judging from the wrinkles starting, perhaps I should have swore harder. 

     DD2 heads back to school after lunch. I’ll be sad to see her pull out of the driveway but she’ll be home in four weeks. I helped her with heaps of life admin last night and later we had a long call with DS in California. He had spent the day hiking with friends and let us know once home. He was pleased DH and I got first doses. His take was that once the J and J version is readily available, tv and film studios will hold massive vaccination events and get productions that have been delayed rolling fast. I hope so. The little work he has is keeping him mentally ok, but he thrives when busy. All my kids do. 

     I’ll sprinkle recaps of staycation week in the rest of my posts but nothing exciting. That’s fine with me. I had time with my kids, in person and phone, and that recharged. It’s already 70 at 9:59 a.m. and you can’t get better than a cup of coffee, a dog, and April sunshine in the morning.

Waking Myself Up-Dose of Reality

I've got 99 issues and this is just one of them. Is that the song? For years I had a modified revolving door of doctor visits for aches and pains, internal issues from being a gal and throat issues. All discreet from each other for the most part. I've also battled having weight on me that is too much for my relatively smallish bone structure to support. With my vitamin D and iron deficiencies, not too mention my low grade rheumatoid arthritis that flares up from time to time, I get much less exercise than I should. Really, if I just read this paragraph, I might think I'm a real mess. Actually though, when each of these things are managed, I'm a pretty healthy person. My recent pesky problem, one I thought I dealt with last year is esophageal dismotility, or throat closing. They think it is caused by a food allergy, but as it happens erratically with no predictive forewarning, last year I had a dilation or widening of my throat, which I thought was the magic cure. For nearly 11 months, it didn't happen at all until a week before Christmas. Unfortunately, I've had several episodes in the last two weeks, Monday nights was a particular painful and gross one. On May 4th, I get to have the treatment again. 

While I have a light anesthesia, I fared really well after the last one, which was done as a two for at the same time as my colonoscopy. I get to have this in a clinic as opposed to the hospital surgery center though so the deductible out of pocket cost won't be nearly as high.  So yucky, but necessary, and will mean I am in right shape for a summer of delicious barbecues, picnics and nights out on the deck. 

Or, should I be preparing for a summer of feasting? As standard in the doctor, they took my weight (grrr, but still lower than last April), pulse, and blood pressure. I have been known to have very low blood pressure, something I would always smile about, as If I was doing anything health wise to keep it at such a healthy level. I was gobsmacked to hear her say 140 over 90! Never have I heard my top number go above 110, and my lower above 70. She even cautioned me to say that the lower number is most troublesome considering my history. Whoa! Now, they said it very well could be just be the stress of being in a clinic, or the fall out from Monday's throat attack, as my daughter now calls them, but still, I was floored. 

I keep saying I want to lose weight for health reasons, not just my own vanity. I say this as I liberally use the salt shaker or don't begrudge myself an additional slice of pizza rather than more salad. Vanity aside, I really mean it this time. I need to lose weight. I need to eat better. I need to cut out the crap. If even a temporary blip, that 140 over 90 was a wake-up call.

Feeling Good Friday-It's Ground Hog Day

Wow, It's now February 2 and while I don't hold out hope for a short winter, let's hope the furry rodent does not see his shadow. I just learned there is Groundhog Day Live Stream from Pennsylvania.

For those of you not on pins and needles waiting for the prediction, let's get on with feeling goof Friday. I don't commit to weight loss in January-too much stress and cliche. February though, with one less month of cold weather to face,  potential dreams for a spring break get away, even if it is only an overnight stay in a hotel with a hot tub and pool on route between college visits, inspires me to look perhaps a bit better as spring approaches.  I was deluding myself a bit on how much of my previous 14 pound weight loss I had gained back. Sadly, nine pounds are back using today as my official weigh in. Still, five pounds lower than a year ago, and 12 pounds less than two years ago. Instead of my check in on anything health related, I' going to target this weigh loss plan and set some reasonable goals. 

• Walk more. I joined Ilona and her on line walking group, at Life After Money and am tracking my progress. I doubt I will hit the 1000 mile mark, but set a goal for 600.
• Add weights to my morning stretching. I dug up a couple two pound hand weights and as I do my morning stretches,  I'll add the weights in my hand. My arms have not only gotten very flabby, they have gotten weaker. I talked with a physical therapist about this and that is the suggestion. She also wants me to get my resistance bans back in action for my legs. 
• Remember my water goal of one bottle on route each way? That has really fallen off in the cold weather. I know my body does feel so much better when I've had ample hydration. 
• Build my meals around plant based foods. It's a new month, new groceries to buy. I need to go back to treating meat and carbs as side dishes.
• Cut the sugar. I think I just need to go cold turkey. I find a little snack just leads me to wanting more. 

There are 16 weeks until  Memorial Day weekend, the unofficial beginning of summer lake season. We have a lot of weekends between now and then for working on home projects,  road trips, and volunteer or family commitments. I need to use those busy weekends to mentally focus on being a healthier me. Losing 24 pounds should be realistic, but if I average just a pound a week, I'll significantly improve my health.

Feeling Good Friday:Reengaging

I reengaged with my blog and my lovely cyber friends this week. I'm spending an hour or two before I start work reading posts I have missed and getting caught up in the world. Hang in their Mama Fish! I love that you fight for your guppies. Also congrats on holding steady on the weight loss, and congrats to Rachel, Anne, and Anna on achieving your success. I've had up days and down days. I don't know if spreading out the memorial so many weeks after the death of someone is good in the long run, but it feels really difficult right now to have not said my good byes, yet my friend is not here. Still, my Friday posts are for looking back at my week of health, physically, emotionally, and mentally and noting my success and challenges. All things considered, it hasn't been bad.

1. I posted my 1.8 pound weight loss from last week on my Tuesday post. I am please to have stepped on the scale this morning and I've dropped another 2.2 pounds bringing my three week weight loss to 7 pounds. Not Biggest Loser type numbers where they shed that in a week, but slow and steady. While week one might have been over a pound of water weight, it seems my 1.5 pound a week target might inch closer to 2 pounds.  I don't want to get ahead of myself but if I keep this pace, I may lose an additional 20 pounds by my nieces wedding in 10 weeks. 

2. Enjoyed a few decadent meals and treats, but in moderation. DH and I went to our favorite wine bar for dinner last Friday night. I just didn't want to eat a salad, but opted for a leaner turkey burger, which is phenomenal as they top with a lingonberry jam, sunflower sprouts, and a white wine aioli. I even ate the bun, however, left most of the french fries untouched. I nibbled at the desert bar crawl at work-some really delicious items, ate pizza one night and penne alfredo another. I had chicken and mashed potatoes! I still need to do a better job of building my meals around vegetables, but happy that I could eat like a regular person and still lose a bit of weight. 

3. DD2 had her first practice for show choir tryouts for next season and had the dance number on her iPad. Being silly, I told her I could definitely nail the tryouts and proceeded to try the dance. In teenager style, she was both embarrassed and pleased and snap chatted to her friends, "So this just happened. My mom  just danced our try out." Her friend posted back, "Your mom is awesome." Melted my heart. Plus, the dancing was pretty fun, if pathetic, and I need to get some old fashion jazzercise into my exercise routine. I still need an exercise routine. Where is Richard Simmons?


4. I sat and meditated, a lot. I normally spend a few minutes each morning just lying awake before getting up, my quiet mind time. This week, I intentionally found additional moments to do so. Did I mention we have a zen room at work? After a particularly intense meeting, I went to the low light, soft room (unlike the starch office cubicles everywhere else) and sat listening to the rain before heading back to my desk. 

5. A wedding guest/informal photographer at DD1's friends wedding posted a picture of DH and I from the wedding. At first I wasn't going to accept it being posted on my wall. I felt I looked worn, tired, fat. Then, I got over myself. I look how I look, and it is rare that I have a picture of DH and myself alone. Self acceptance has to start, right?

These are general and need more specificity, but my goals for wellness for the following week include:

• More vegetable based meals
• Increase walking-the rainy weather put dampers on this
• Develop an exercise routine-core and strength focus to go with walking
• Continue to take a work day meditation break, even if just a few minutes 
• Take some pictures this week, capture the lilacs before they are gone

If you are focusing on your own health and well being, tell me about it. If you post, please feel free to leave a link to your latest update. Enjoy your weekend.

Feeling Good Friday Week 1 Three Pounds!

While I don't want to reach my first 20 pound goal and stop, the first week of my 13 week target until my nieces wedding is a wrap. I was hopeful week one of my refocused healthy living strategies would see good payoffs. I was rewarded with a three pound weight loss. This is typical of me historically whenever I've started  traditional diets. I'll have a few weeks of good steady weigh loss, then plateau, then get set backs, then frustration, and I get back to 0. I don't feel though like I've dieted this week, but made better eating decisions. Despite the stupid snow and cold weather at the beginning of the week, I got outside a bit more. I'm grateful for all the support and comments from you all, particularly the other bloggers that have joined in on weekly health and weight check-ins, sharing their ups and downs. I have not been brave enough to post my actual weight, but I will post "before" pictures, and you can see why I need to focus on my health. The full view was from our trip last August (oh the cankles), and the close up is from late September (oh the chins and bust area). 

I didn't have any real health slips this week, so here is my summary of my feeling good efforts and challenges. 

1. Greatly increased my water consumption. I kept a pitcher filled on the weekend with ice and lemon. At the office I drank two fills of my 16 ounce water bottle. 

2. Stopping for gas on Tuesday, I realized I was hungry and didn't have anything in my desk. I bought coffee, and was going to give in and grab a muffin. Muffins from bakeries and C stores, calorie and fat wise, are worse than  deep fried donuts. Instead, I grabbed a couple Special K protein bars, eating one, and tossing the other in my purse for a future time. I saved at least 200 calories, and didn't have a late morning carb crash. 

3. I've focused on healthy, but filling meals. My breakfasts have been whole grain or protein based in general, and not a reliance on simple carbs and sugars. I still don't eat for a couple hours after being up other than coffee, but have avoided mindless desk snacking. Both my lunches and dinners have focused first on fruit and veg and protein. I'm worried I might not be getting enough calcium, so added cottage cheese and yogurts into my lunches. I've had things like white rice for curry, a roll for my fish last night, and pizza crust on pizza, but have reduced my white grain consumption to less than half of previous menus. 

4. I mentioned both of these in an earlier comments but I splurged on two items that were needed,but will also aid in overall weight loss. First, I spent more than I ever have on a good quality swim suit, one meant for actual swimming for when we join the Y for the summer (fingers crossed they have the summer membership deal again). I also bought, on 70% clearance, but still pricey, a Columbia puffy coat with a hood. I desperately did need a casual, cold weather coat, and this one will help me extend my outdoor walking, even when I want to make weather an excuse. 

5. DD2 was home last night as her wedding duties and festivities start today. We took a very long walk together instead of a going out for coffee or a retail therapy tour of Target. She has been stressed, carrying a lot of the emotional baggage for her friend. There's a lot to the back story, but let's just say weddings bring out the worst behaviors in some people.

I'm trying to keep politics out of this blog, but let's face it, the health insurance system is going to penalize the unhealthy and the old. I can't do anything about getting older. I already have a boatload of pre-existing conditions that will make it difficult to find affordable private insurance premiums if I retire early and no longer have my employer benefits. The best I can hope for is that I keep my mind and body as healthy as possible so that I am not  burning through my deductible and co-payments every year. Week one toward this rest of life goal is in the books.

Taking Care of Business -Healthy Edition

Back when I was going through all my woman's crud again, some additional preventative and a delayed procedure was scheduled for late January. It totally slipped my mind, but the week is here and tomorrow I get to have the fun of both a colonoscopy and an endoscopy to check for some ongoing swallowing/obstruction issues I have. I have made a concentrated effort to eat better, more fruits and vegetables, less restaurant, take out, and fast food, but even with the best intentions, I am in the same boat as every other human for developing  potential colon health problems. While I have heard the worst case scenarios of people's experiences, I feel good about taking preventative charge of my health as opposed to remediation surgery. 

Speaking of meals, here is my lovely lunch from Tuesday. The soup is part of my bean soup batch, estimated at costing $2.20 for the whole big pot of 8 large servings, just $ .27 per bowlful. The pretzels were a dollar store, Old Dutch holiday mix pretzels with a best by date of July 2017, 24 ounces bag, so less than 8 cents for a baggie full, enough for lunch and a nibble with my late afternoon tea. The hummus, originally bought for 2 for $5, became 3 for $5 because they sent me an extra bonus free coupon after the recall, so the tub was $1.67, so about 30 cents a serving. Not pictured, I also had some carrot sticks and raw broccoli, probably about 50 cents worth of veg, and an orange, on sale 2 for 1 bags of 10 ( hubs did well with that purchase), so 20 cents an orange. 

Why am I boring you with these details? Because I am making a continued point to myself that eating healthy does not need to be expensive. My whole huge lunch, cost $1.35. throw in the cup of tea I had, Good Earth Spicy and Sweet, under 25 cents a tea bag, not on sale, and I spent $1.60. Even just running over to the Target deli, grabbing soup, veggie tray, sabra hummus and pretzel snack pack, and and orange, would have been 4 times more. Swing into the Starbucks, and add another $2.00 for my tea, and now my healthy lunch has just passed the $8.00 mark. The difference is huge and worth making note of for my fiscal health.

When talking with the volleyball girls about the procedure, we were joking how afterwards, I'll have a nice clean colon. My friend S said, after hers, she was motivated to eat clean as she didn't want to mess it up again-kind of like keeping your house clean after having worked so hard before company. Perhaps I'll have that motivation, but with an eye for thrift.

Trying to Be Normal

I took a bit of a tumble Monday morning. I was moving forward down a flight of stairs, my knee was not. Down I went, landing in a heap at the bottom. I have been having more of these hiccups, bouts of being uncoordinated where I trip just walking or am stuck in a spot unable to move from my knees for a brief second. Most of the time it is just embarrassing but on a couple occasions, like Monday, it could have been dangerous. Figuring out what is going on has been tricky. The tests I have had to date have said nothing is wrong other than the arthritis and the vitamin D and iron deficiencies that peak and lull. I'm also dealing with a new round of uterine bleeding, depsite my supposed menopausal state, and will be having surgery again in about 1 1/2 weeks. This triggered the anemia to come back-from a good healthy number on Ocotber 11th, to falling below even my accpetable ranges as of yesterday. My continued bought of simultaneous, but unrelated symptoms continue.

I’m carrying on life as normal as best I can, wondering if this is just what aging is like for some people; the unsteadiness, weakness at times, and ever present pain, sometimes pronounced, sometimes dull, but there constantly. With the bleeding again, no medicatiosn that thin blood, so even the modest releif ibuprofen gives will be put aside for now.  I wonder, should I be pushing back at the negative test results, demanding something be done? I feel like I need one of those television doctors, the ones that notice subtle little cues, and find some rare, yet very solvable medical ailment, that less than 1 in 1,000,000 people have. Until then, I’ll keep plugging away at trying to lose the weight that has sent my BMI to an unhealthy range and I know is adding to the aches. I’ll remember to hydrate and follow the limited guidance I’ve been given so far about eating a healthy diet, taking my vitamins and minerals, and getting rest. 

I know many of you that read this blog from reading yours that you have your own health demons, most far worse than mine, so can relalte. While I am reassured that nothing is life threatening and more inconvenient than debilitating, I still would like to get a normal life back. Making it about money, I'm crushed that we will have a ton more out of pocket expenses just as we were finally coming out of our financial stalemate. Making it aobut time, this means I'll be missing a few days at work and won't feel chipper over the Thanksgiving long weekend. I get crabby when the trifecta of not feeling well, feeling pressed for time, and feeling money woes hit at the same time, but then don't we all? I hope I can still carry on with a few interesting blog posts, but if I'm off my game, you all know why.  Cheers to all of you maintaining good health, and thanks for reading. 

Women and Sick Days

I have a lot of empathy for Hillary Clinton this morning. This is not a political post-keeping that our of my blog posts thank you very much. Well it might be a tad political but I totally get the angst she must be feeling and felt about her bought with pneumonia and the push-pull to continue soldiering on through. I feel really cruddy today but have lots of commitments, deadlines, and people relying on me the next few days. On the one hand, I'll be backed up and will create a gap for others if I don't buckle up and head into the office. On the other, I know I am not fully concentrating, will be moving slow, and this will persist for several days if not nipped early. I have weeks of paid sick time available, so this not a loss of wage issue as so many workers face. 

I know men struggle with this as well, but I don't think they carry the guilt if they do decide to take a down day the way a woman does. I think when men take a sick day the response is, "Wow, I must really be sick!" compared to, "Oh, I must not be capable enough." This might be my own insecurities, but the media have had a field day over the candidates pneumonia. I don't know if a man would feel the need to over compensate once back at work, but I'm already planning in my head how things will get done and what nights I can work late to make up the lost time. Perhaps if DH or the president could fill in for me like Mr Clinton and President Obama did, I would loosen my guilt. Nah, and I don't think Mrs. Clinton is feeling less bullied for daring to take a few deserved health days. I'd say the same thing about anyone that is in the public spotlight with a grueling travel schedule, but then has to defend their competence.

I am one to bolster myself up, but then when I do finally succumb, I am down for the count. It might come days later, or even a week or more later. Maybe I shouldn't attribute this to my gender, but my martyr complex I know I possess. I inherited it from my mom. I've been bouncing between writing this post, and running some reports for work, sipping tea and trying to squelch the motion in my head and gut, all the while telling myself I'm not really ill. We have the guy coming to take measurements for the tile sometime this morning, and I probably will haul myself in the shower and be prepared to go to work when he leaves.  We have an open house at the high school tonight, and need to swing by the MIL's to collect her house and car key as she is leaving very early Sunday morning on a trip east and wants us to collect her car from where she is meeting the coach bus. There's a lot going on to take a "duvet day" as one of my British blogging friends refers to them. I bet Hillary has rarely taken a duvet day in her life. Let the media write about that.

Living for Now, Planning for Future

I've developed friendships or minimally friendly relations with many coworkers that I keep in touch with over the 29 years of being in the adult workforce. Some have been younger, particularly as the years moved on, but many are a decade to two older. Many of the latter have either retired in recent years,or would like to very soon. Some have had to push back retirement by 3 or more years, pushing what they thought would be 65 to now closer to 70. The recession really sucked, didn't it, and I wonder if we really ever will be completely out.

I'm completely rubbish at understanding how the market works, and understanding where to hedge your bets and move assets around. I can understand simple compound interest, and have set my goals based on average rates of return that lean to the conservative side. I put as much in tax deferred options and after tax accounts that will be tax free in retirement that we can. My husband wants to get into investment property, but I know how we operate life, and with his job, that doesn't seem to be a realistic option.  His parents did it, but his mom did not work a regular job outside of the home and handled showings, collecting checks, bookkeeping, and coordinating work. In the real estate area, keeping our housing expenses low, and eventually downsizing will be our only real estate strategy. However, when we do downsize, it will be to something below market that we invest elbow grease in, as we did our first house, in order to bank a substantial amount of what we sell this place for.

Where was I going with both of these ramblings? A sad series of real life anecdotes about so many of my older friends has me thinking hard on DH and my retirement strategy. I shared last year about a recently retired colleague that had a stroke and died at 67, within a year of retirement. A colleague from my last job has been on  family medical leave for over a month out of state after his younger wife, had a debilitating stroke while on vacation. They are getting ready to move her back here, and outfitting their house for all the modifications required, rather than adding more travel to their schedule. He was getting ready to retire next year at at 68, but who knows if this changes their plans. I hear what happens to so many people who have worked so hard, and in some cases longer than they wanted, only to have another sucker punch push plans yet further away. I have so many plans for my future post work life, I want to do everything I can do to preserve my dreams, but am a little wigged out that it seems a little luck of the draw sometimes, and I don't want to look back, or have my kids look back, and wish i had done more in my younger years.

First, I don't think all travel, hobbies, entertainment, and relaxation should be put off until retirement. However, I have insurance to carry for my family through my work, a child at home and to put through college,  so neither DH or I are in a positions to reduce work, so need to fit in things when we can. Second, as much as financial needs are critical, as much and maybe even more so for that future is to have healthy body's in retirement. DH had a TIA shortly after his 50th birthday four years ago. That knocked us into reality that if something didn't change in his diet and exercise, he might not see his kids graduate college let alone see retirement. When my health issues surfaced, I was so good for so long following the regimen of physical therapy and diet, but  have become undisciplined. This will not do, and part of the blog is to help me keep focused on leading an active and healthy life through diet, exercise, and  mental health breaks.So while I can save money buying really cheap groceries that fill up bodies to save money, I need to ensure optimal nutrition is purchased with those grocery dollars, hence my move towards more economical and meatless. yet delicious and healthy meals. On the flip side, investing in a gym membership for me would be a waste of money when walking and light weights and resistance is really the only exercise I do (when I do exercise), and I have a free wellness center at my office and can buy a $14 annual walking pass for the indoor track at the high school. 

No one's ever accused me of not putting deep thought into a subject. Some days I am confident in our retirement plans, and other days, I think I will be like my friends that have pushed retirement out later. So many readers are also bloggers I follow so I have a good range of different plans, or different experiences for retirement, and learning more keeps me grounded but not naive. While you can't control for the totally unexpected, even the investment ignorant can do things to hedge our bets. I just need to make sure it is in both the financial and health areas.