I too joined the Blogger United Federation as started by Sluggy and Sonya Ann and spent a blissful hour on Saturday reading blogs and following links. I always check out the blog rolls when a blogger resonates with me as I assume there is more to love with the next link. I came across a blog, specifically a page in a blog, that sums up perfectly what I am hoping for out of my life. Notes from the Frugal Trenches-downshifting is a really savvy essay sharing reasons why taking a good hard look at what all the over consumption, commercialism, and keeping up with the Jones's is costing many of us in personal life fulfillment. Taking a read through the comments, many from seven years ago, and it is like reading notes from myself.
I have very simple wants in life, and want to enjoy simple experiences in my own back yard and around the globe.Travel takes money, but I don't need expensive meals and crap souvenirs once I get there, and having a few friends over for a simple meal, drinks included, can be less than a typical drive through McDonald's for a family of four. And yet, I still find myself with crap in my grocery cart that we shouldn't be eating, a calendar that has optional activities that do not provide meaningful enjoyment, and trips to Target that too often include a receipt twice as long as it should have been due to unplanned or needed items coming home with me. Just yesterday a set of six Christmas cookie cutters, on clearance for $2.00 came home with me. I have a canister of cookie cutters already, and short of gingerbread boys, I haven't made cut out cookies in years.
I like the picture downshifting gives as opposed to the other phrase I've heard, downsizing. Downsizing implies getting or doing less, where downshifting says to me, intentional and deliberate choices in what we decide to get or do. Downsizing has connotations of job loss and mortgage foreclosure. Downshifting makes me think of a skilled race car driver, carefully correcting his course along the race route for an optimal finish.
I didn't get nearly as much done this weekend as I would have liked on the cleaning and organizing nature. I did however, spend some good time reading and learning from others. As for that calendar being filled with less than enjoyable things, I took a look and did some much needed editing.
The weekend news was all weather-predicting the first big storm of the (early) winter. I went to bed last night with a flurry of text messages about the possibility of the office closing, as so many staff have young kids, and we want to discourage clients out in bad weather. There have been times when we didn't close, but should have. A text first thing confirmed we were erring on precaution and the office was closing. In hindsight, as we never got quite the storm predicted, it was maybe better to just allow people late arrival, or early departure depending on their commute. I actually was quite under the weather when I first woke, and was probably going to either go in late, or attempt to work from home, any way, giving me time for the bug to pass. I spent several hours dealing with issues remotely that arose because of the closing, and then had good intentions to do a lot of catch up work from home. I should have been able to knock off a lot of desk things, but instead, knowing it was now an unexpected holiday, I rested, and I blog hopped.
I got caught up on a what all my favorite bloggers are up to. Vintage shopping with gal pals, successful and unsuccessful home made bread baking, upcycling a table and chairs for an early Christmas gift, creative ways to make money on the side, and weekend travel get aways made for a lot of busy reading. I made a few comments, and received few as well. I was reminded of the early days of Facebook when you could spend hours looking up friends and getting caught up on the months and years you missed in their lives. I was terrible clicking links, and other recommended blog sites. I was lazy and unaccomplished. It was fun.
While running my daughter to basketball practice, I made a stop to get new ice scrapers. The ones we had from last winter were crap, and barely took off the sleet we had coating the car windows. Staring at a wall of ice scrapers of every size imaginable, not yet picked over, I started thinking about how rested I felt. For the most part, I had over half a day with no one needing anything from me, no one (other than pup) dropping into my work space wondering what I was doing and could they ask me if I was busy. No one remembering they forgot something and could I help them take care of it. No boss popping in my doorway with the random thought of the morning, that he needed to share in person just because he wanted a stretch so chose to walk down the hall instead of just picking up the blasted phone. At one point I put an old episode of Doc Martin on, fell asleep, and woke thinking I had just vacationed in a seaside cottage. It was lovely.
So what I had, was a day of playing hooky, but without the guilt. I woke not feeling well; some dry toast and tea helped calm things down. I didn't call in sick when I wasn't, though by the way I napped, I sure must have needed it. I didn't hang out for an extra hour in a coffee house before heading home, just so I could get through e-mail uninterrupted. I didn't even bother to shower, but stayed in comfy sweat pants, t-shirt, alternated with throwing a sweatshirt on, and felt no need to look presentable, though I did comb my hair and brush my teeth before running into Target. So was my day a waste of opportunity or good for my soul? I had thought I'll be energized and just work late tomorrow, then learned they changed practice times so I'll have car pool duty at 6:00. Still, I feel ready to get in the office early, and tackle what I would have done half heartedly had I tried today. I was dreading the work week when I first woke up, and now I am excited to get things done.
I won't be making this a habit, it is not really my nature, but I don't think the day was wasted after all. I once had a staff person that every so often called in and just reported she was taking a mental health day. We didn't have a policy about what constituted being sick to use a sick day, and I never pushed. To this day, I still feel she was one of the most productive and talented staff I ever supervised. What about you? Have you ever literally just phoned it in, and gave yourself a day off? Were you later more productive because of it?
I'm a big Rolling Stone's fan, though I have certain favorites, where the words and music seem ageless. Paint it Black, Satisfaction, and Time is on our side are three favorites. I've been thinking a lot about where, how and who with I spend my time, in fact, it is one of the main reasons I started this blog. We all have the same 24 hours and each of us splices those hours up based on their own necessity, and priorities. I believe there is a relationship between money and time, that goes beyond the "time is money" cliché. After necessities, where we choose to spend other dollars reflects our priorities. When those get out of balance, say a person is working more and more hours to earn more and more money beyond what is needed, but then have little free time to do anything meaningful, life is out of balance. Similarly with those that load their calendar with more and more obligations, then they lose out on simple and of the moment experiences, because they are too busy. In the last year I saw my life spiraling in that work longer and longer, over committed treadmill, and I didn't like what I was seeing.
This week was the final shaking I needed to confirm my calendar and budget needs a good rattling. I won't share much as it is not my story to share, but a lifelong friend lost her husband following a two decade on and off battle with illness. Barely into his 50's, hearing the stories and experiences about this life shared, one knew he didn't let constant worry over shadow a happy life. He put time on his side, and while I am heart broken for his family, I know they know he put them first on his priorities.
My husband and I celebrated our 27th anniversary yesterday. I don't know where the time went, because some days I feel about as immature and stupid as I did at 21! On the way and during dinner, too often our conversation centered around work, and what was going on mostly at my office. We had to enforce a no work rule, but even then references crept in. I don't want to spend my 28th anniversary talking about work-I want work to be a side note on my life, not the all consuming bear it has become. It is harder to do that when you work in an industry that also mirrors personal passion, but the issues I work with can be discussed as societal, and the office workings can be left there. l am exploring other opportunities that while may end up with less pay, should result with less hours of actual work and being "on call" and more room for where to I'd rather be. Of course take home pay will be less, and we don't want to reduce three financial priorities, retirement investment, support for college, or a little travel now and then, so the tips on frugality will really be followed in the blogosphere. I don't think my contribution to the world will be any less. I'll keep you posted.
So the weekend should be a good one. It s cool, but sunny, perfect for getting some long walks and hopefully some apple picking done. I've just had a couple cups of coffee and DD #2 and I devoured 1/2 a tube of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls. She has an event to help with at the public library, so I may spend an hour or so perusing the stacks and reading magazine issues I don't subscribe to. Supper is in the crock pot-kind of a pasta fagioli soup that I made with what I had on hand, so a fair amount of tradeoffs and substitutions. Cross your fingers. What about you all? Any advice for keeping control of the calendar and clock? Have any of you taken a step back in career and salary in order to create more personal time? How did it turn out?
