Saturday, July 2, 2022

Whiney Week of W's

     


     We're officially now halfway through 2022. My mood is everywhere and I'm tired; mentally, emotionally, and physically tired. I'm not sure how to shake it. I just keep plugging along, but feel like I'm just existing, not living. Whine, whine, I know. Nothing is awful. No one is sick. No one's livelihood is threatened. In fact, we're all working so hard and long that might be part of the issue. It's me, period, so up to me to figure it out. I appreciate the comments on the disappointment topic yesterday. I wish I didn't have a personality that let's disappointment fester on my mood. I want to feel like after giving myself a little time to feel disappointed, I can dust myself off and move on. Wallowing doesn't help create the next opportunity. Thinking about doing something and making excuses of why not, isn't the brightest way to approach a slump. I almost skipped blogging today, but this space feels like a place to maybe boost a little life force forward. Let's see how my W's fair?

What’s top of my mind: The Supreme Court again is top of mind. Looking at what had been universally accepted as separation of church and state, they now throw more right wing curve balls. Believe me Trump does not live in my head for free, but the legacy of one of the most disreputable men on earth, who couldn't even pose holding a bible the right way up for a photo op, by putting evangelist judges on the court, is still present in our lives. If any of our fellow citizens, other than Christian, are discriminated against being able to grand stand on public stage, anyone applauding this SC decision better get their asses out there defending them just as hard. I know they will just grab their pearls and talk dogma that the US is a Christian country. This is so hard for me, being what I feel a real Christian is supposed to be. I'm just so frustrated to think what decisions might come next. I am celebrating Dr. Ketanji Brown Jackson's appointment. Small comfort after the railroading the Republicans did to get Gorsich or  Coney Barret seated, you know, play both sides of their own arguments and state they are not cheats and liars. 

Where I've been: 

Nowhere that I haven't mentioned so often in previous posts,  Chicago, lake, to view a house. I would have liked to go down for the live music Thursday night, but my daughters were gone, and DH was deep into some program. I just tried to enjoy some time outside with pup after it cooled off. Oh, and I went to a meeting for  a MN House of Representatives candidate, seeking to win a seat that has been Republican held for 40 years. I will be voting for her, but I was actually a bit disappointed to not really hear her platform beyond considering herself progressive. She mentioned a couple hot button topics, but overall, didn't share her priorities or the how/approach and I was caught speechless that she didn't know about the SC football coach/prayer ruling, considering education was one of those hot topics she said she was so concerned about. It seems like that would be a pretty  big story to know if you were running for a house seat. Her knowledge width and articulation of thought needs to improve over the next few months. I hate feeling like I will be voting against her opponent and not voting for her, if that makes sense. 


   

Where I’m going:

Weekend plans include an annual 4th of July party at my sisters today and the lake tomorrow. Pup just gets so overwhelmed with too many people and the fireworks, so I want to be home with him Sunday night and Monday. I miss trivia-maybe I can lure the group out next Wednesday. (Again, might be part of my funk that I'm off my routine). I have to go to our new offices some time next week and find  files from 2017 for a specific audit. My co-worker thinks she knows where to find them, but I have a different recall of where they were packed. We don't really know where the pallets ended up either after we packed the old building. 

What I’m watching:

 I haven't watched a lot of television, other than the new season of the The Umbrella Academy. It was very much just OK. I was expecting more after the second season was so good. The second half of Stranger Things will start so I suppose that will be part of our viewing. I'd like to find a good movie or two that I haven't seen, pop some corn and enjoy. 

What I’m reading:

I'm embarrassed to say nothing. I didn't even read the Sunday paper. I really am so spent after work, mostly I just sit for a while-not reading, listening, or watching anything. It's actually a bit therapeutic. Rachel posted a list of books she has read for fun. I picked up a book in the Little Free Library on the walking path. I might find an old summer read book from my stash, just to get in the summer mood. 

What I’m listening to:

Ok, so you women in the 50's age bracket, do you remember the Kate Bush song, Running Up a Hill, from 1986? It's being played all over due to the resurgence in Stranger Things. To be honest, I don't recall ever hearing the song before the new television series. I'm generally curious who already knew her and her music. It's a very melancholy song-I sort of feel it. I would have been 20 when it came out, and it generally is my kind of music, surprised I didn't know it before. 

What I’m eating:

 Our meals were not great this week, but we've eaten loads of produce. My top off shops are real shops it seems, and we are bursting with food that needs to be eaten. I'm just going to the lake on Sunday, but have a July 4th party today. I'm going to use what we have for both days, but do need fresh broccoli and sunflower seeds for the  salad I'm taking to my sisters. The generic pasta salad with peas and cheese I made for fathers day was such a hit, I'm bringing that Sunday.  

Who needs a good slap:

I already slapped members of the Supreme Court (that sounds very wrong when I read it.) But I'm going to full on slap those that deny  Dr. Brown Jackson's qualifications to be seated as our newest SC Judge. While I'm on a roll, let me slap our auditors who know we are without building, it's a holiday week, the close of one and the start of a new fiscal year, but are demanding documents by July 12th. 

What I’m planning: 

I don't know, but I feel like I need to plan something. I officially requested the week of August 29th off. I'm not sure when my daughter will be giving notice or if she intends to work that whole week, but she leaves on September 7th and has a lot of details to take care of. I'd Ike to spend some time with her too. I'll look at a few other days to take off-some Thursdays perhaps to go with my flex Fridays, but not until all the audit materials are off my plate. My older daughter took the week of August 15th off and will be at the cabin much of it. I think my Hot Spot is better now, so I might combine a day off with a work from the cabin day. I'd settle for a good day trip or two, just fun stuff, maybe a late and lingering lunch at an outside café. 

What’s making me smile:

I have to think about this one. Here I was  lecturing Spo that he needs to keep this category in his weekly W's because there is always something to smile about, even if a little thing and now I'm struggling with it. There must be things that made me smile. Our basketball court got dug out and a new one replaced. The old one went in 30 years ago this summer, so it has been wore down and cracking. The lines still need to be painted, but I guess seeing kids using it and enjoying the new surface is smile worthy. Also the ducks on the pond-they are fun to stop and watch for a bit. We have one goose that hangs out with the ducks. I wonder about her story. The raspberries on the deck vines are starting to come too-its crazy and smile worthy. 

     I feel better after both blowing off steam in my rants, but also thinking through  the questions, the good things, and making note of them. It seems many bloggers have taken a few breaks. I applaud you for doing what works for you, but know you are missed. I love reading  how others are managing hot weather, your gardens, day trips, and your travel. It makes me motivated to get out of my slumps, camera or phone camera in hand, and just embrace and capture life instead of leaning into a  to a pity party. If you'd like to share your W's, I'd like to read them. 

28 comments:

  1. I am in my mid-40's and a lover of 80's music. While I am familiar with Kate Bush, when I heard that song on the radio lately, it didn't ring a bell for me at all. Glad to hear it wasn't just me.

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    1. Granted, if it wasn't played on local stations, I'd likely not of heard a lot of music.

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  2. The county board of education was declared a sick building and had to be vacated along with every file. A professional company was brought in to clean the files, document each and ever file and store in portable buildings. The portables were manned and protected. If an employee wanted a file, they had to submit which file and wait for the team in charge of the transfers and storage to go and search for the file. There was more to this storage bit while the building had the mold cleaned. The lengths they went to in order to control what could have been chaos was astounding. The back parking lot was filled with the buildings for storage. Your file story made me think of this year-long problem.

    I worry about the double standards imposed when the Republicans determine the rules for things like candidates for the SC. But, everyone just allows them to be bullies and change the rules on their whims. It all weighs heavily on me. Not getting sleep because of the dogs next door does not help me formulate good ideas for thinking or writing. So, about ten slaps apiece for the adults next door!

    There is a time for taking a walk to relieve mental and physical tension. And, there is a time for just sitting it out.

    I read this blog every day...octoberfarm@blogspot.com. The memes are empowering.

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    1. I hope finding the needed files isn't going to be too daunting.

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  3. Don't be too hard on yourself Sam. Sometimes it is a bit much to handle in this uncharted territory. While history repeats itself, we're experiencing many firsts and it's hard to know how to react. Your description of how you're feeling made me think of what I refer to as your soul is tired. I've been there.
    I loved Stranger Things and like you I don't remember that singer or song at all and I was very into music back then.
    I hope you have a peaceful, relaxing weekend. Take time just for you.

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    1. Not sure why it came up anonymous. Blogger is being difficult.

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    2. Lori, I think you hit the nail on the head. My soul is tired. COVID changed my life so much, and the upheaval everywhere has wore me down.

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  4. Sam you sound exhausted. You maybe need to take some time out just for yourself and relax a bit. I grew up listening to Kate Bush but wasn't a fan. My OH loves her music.

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    1. This weekend was all I can spare now. It really is that tenuous at work between short staffing and the audit and added projects. Maybe by August I'll truly take down time.

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  5. Reading - just romance novels. I'm also reading Biased for a Juneteenth book club, but honestly, I'm struggling to devote energy to reading something intellectual.

    Eating - lots of garden stuff. We had zucchini fritters a few nights ago, and are planning for caprese salad this week. That's one of my favorite parts of summer! We also have been eating out more than usual, as the boys are out of town.

    I want to slap people who confuse opinions & politics with human rights. We can disagree on plenty of things: do you like fall better than summer? Do you prefer to vacation at the beach or in a city? Do you live more in the moment, or enjoy planning? Those are opinions. I welcome you having a different one than me. Human rights are not opinions. They should not be political, and I'm real fed up with people who don't want to talk about them, because it's not "polite". You know what else is not "polite"? Being too weak to have a discussion about the human rights you want to take away from someone else. Let me know when you're comfortable with me then discussion your rights, and whether you should be "allowed" them. WHEW.

    Making me smile. My parents, the boys & our nephew. Sam didn't end up having to work next week (low enrollment due to the 4th of July). He & Nick begged to stay longer with my parents, and my nephew is joining. They have all kinds of additional plans now, for "Papa Camp". It makes me really, really happy that my parents are the kind of grandparents that three teens will do anything to spend more time with, and that they are all having so much fun.

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    1. I agree on opinion vs human rights. Unimaginable that so few think their views matter to anyone, but then get to decide to force it on the rest of us.

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  6. Oh, and not 50, but definitely know the Kate Bush song! Enjoying it's resurgence. :-)

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  7. I think the entire country (world?) is in a general funk these days. I'm not sure if it is the continual bad news we get 24/7 or that there doesn't seem to be much to look forward to but more drama on the local and national level. I recently took up meditating and writing in a gratitude journal and also making an effort to be extra nice to people I encounter to maybe brighten someone else's day. Hope you have a wonderful 4th of July weekend!

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    1. Sitting quietly helps me. I don't know if meditating exactly, but I focus on breathing.

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  8. I loved Kate Bush. You should listen to "Don't Give Up" (with Peter Gabriel). As for this "If any of our fellow citizens, other than Christian, are discriminated against being able to grand stand on public stage, anyone applauding this SC decision better get their asses out there defending them just as hard." I said in your last post--it's only a matter of time before we get a ruling stating that ONLY Christian prayer is allowed in public school/public school events, and then a shorter time to mandated prayer. NO PRAYER belongs in the public school, and that includes public school sporting events. And while we're at it, why aren't more people chilled to the bone with Thomas' mention of Griswold in his concurring opinion on the overturning of Roe V. Wade? Again, it's nuanced, but anyone who paid the least bit of attention in history class should know that we have only just begun to see the nastiness. It's been going on for a while, but somehow, though, when it's only brown, black, indigenous, gay or trans people suffering, the stakes don't seem so high.

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    1. I'm exhausted by the right wing of this country. I can't take any views with anything but suspicion. I'll look for other Kate Bush material.

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  9. Do you read "The Guardian?" You might like this article
    https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/alarm-as-us-supreme-court-takes-a-hatchet-to-church-state-separation/ar-AAZ6ux5?ocid=msedgdhp&pc=U531&cvid=41edb4788ca8415bbaba68e349b8f73b

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    1. It's infuriating to read the twists and turns to get to how the current Supreme Court has arrived.

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  10. I remember Kate Bush first time around (we're the same age). I thought she was "weird" (but in a positive way) - maybe "bohemian" would have been a better choice of word - "eccentric"). The only song I really remember though was Heathcliff. I'll have to listen to her again as she does seem to be making a comeback!

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    1. I'll explore other music too. I like weird in a good way too.

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  11. Watching: "Anne with an E" on Netflix - based on Anne of Green Gables. I'm really enjoying it.
    Eating: Made fried rice using leftover pork loin - delicious.
    Making me smile: Our pool! It's maintaining 82+ degrees which makes it perfect for swimming. Our sons gave us underwater headphones for Mother's/Father's Day, and they make swimming laps so much more enjoyable.

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    1. If we end up south, a pool in retirement will be a must. Enjoy!

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  12. Hope that you have a good time with your family this weekend. Sorry that you are feeling down, but hopefully the long weekend will be restful and fun.
    I don't remember the song, Running up the hill, but my husband did, and he also remembered the song Pass the Dutchie. Not sure what that says about him. ;) Looking forward to watching the season finale of Stranger Things this weekend. I fell asleep during Umbrella Academy, so I'm not sure this season will be as good. I have enjoyed watching the Obi Wan Kenobi series, and little Leia is adorable.

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    1. I'm not sure when I'll watch. The weekend has been good so far.

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  13. You don't sound your usual bubbly self, Sam. I hope you have fun at the party tomorrow.
    Yes, knew Kate Bush well - she was huge in the UK in the late 70s/early 80s and toured in 2014 to sell-out audiences. I'm beginning to think I'm the only person in the world not to have watched Stranger Things and didn't understand the connection until I goggled it.
    What's been happening this week? Jon & I finally caught Covid and were dancing around the kitchen this morning when our LT tests finally showed up as negative and we were safe to leave the house again. We're frantically packing for this weekend's festival and for our trip to Greece the day after we get back. The house is in chaos! xxx

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    1. I haven't been- just wore out I think. This weekend has been good. I hope you both got the lighter to no symptoms version. I was quite sick a couple days, but then bounced back. You sound chipper so I guess that's the answer. You've become part of the Greek culture with your regular trip's.

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  14. I have been a Kate Bush fan from the get go! I remember listening to her in the early 80s. I chuckle how some are just discovering her now.

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