Thursday, June 2, 2022

Thrifty Thursday- Curbing Moochy Relatives

     


     A bad habit I have when going to the lake is willy nilly buying groceries that I know either is too much and need to get hauled back home, or scarfed down indiscriminately by relatives who go by the motto that if it's there, they will eat it. Suffice to say, May was an expensive grocery month. But, I'm looking for ways I can economize and maybe without being a crank, reduce the cost mooching, for future family weekends.

     There's a few ways I practiced thrift though, some in money but also time and resources. I'm also trying to figure out more economical meals to share at the lake, without the big eaters that are not contributing, to fill up without costing me a weeks grocery budget. 

  • For an inexpensive side, I bought a few boxes of boxed au gratin potatoes. I'm not sure if it helped that much, but I redirected my nephew who was on route to a 3rd burger before all eating had one, to have a portion of potatoes. They cooked up nicely in the crockpot. I do love my nephew, but he's a big man and at 25 and working full time, he can contribute somewhat on occasion to the food. (His parents weren't there for lunch, but I think she's also getting of the mind he needs to step up a bit and not expect others to provide for him.)
  • Used all the odds and ends fruit and vegetables we brought back home. We brought home opened snacks too for home consumption
  • This might sound cheap, but I brought home the chicken we never used rather than keeping in a cabin freezer. Twice we've gone to prepare meat we left to learn someone had used it a weekend we weren't there. While of course I contribute fully (see above) to shared meals, we don't need to feed people when we're not even there. 
  • My daughter and I wanted a cool treat on the way home, but passed by the so cute, but expensive ice cream shop, and bought a box of Johnny pops as a treat. While they are pricey, the box of 6 was the same as a single cone
  • I brought home all the dish towels, plus the bathroom or beach towels used by my family ( and same nephew) to wash and return. They could have been done at the cabin, but easy enough to do at home while doing other laundry. 
  • I wanted to maximize my day off before being stressed back at work. My daughter and I went for brunch, which was less costly than lunch out. I love a good brunch for my main meal of the day.
  • DH took the girls to a $5 movie night, with free popcorn, to the new Top Gun movie. DH brought his popcorn back for me. I hated the first TG, and would not put myself through another chapter of nausea induced by Tom Cruise.
  • Made risotto with last of a bag of long grain rice and opened wine. It would have been better with aborio rice, but this worked in a pinch. I served with green beans sauteed in garlic butter. This helped me avoid another grocery shop- trying to start June right after the high cost May.
  • Loaded Fetch receipts and tried to remember MS Rewards quizzes.
     I've got a list of money related goals for June, but the unwritten goal is always to avoid waste- money, good, time, resources that could be much better used elsewhere. Any wins in your home this week? 


24 comments:

  1. I've never shared a space with family but I can see where it would be difficult. I don't think it's cheap of you to take the meat home with you. That would be frustrating knowing you left something and then finding it is gone when you return.
    I am with you 100% on Tom Cruise. NOT a fan!
    You're lucky to have a good breakfast/brunch place. That is something I really miss.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It makes more sense to bring home unused items. We could be back in a day or it could be weeks.

      Delete
  2. I think single men of any age are prone to just going and eating. No. They need to learn to pick up something like Cokes or ice, anything to share since they eat food others brought. Of course, I would never dare show up, with or without Tommy, empty-handed. He has no qualms about going to communal meals with nothing.

    I don't blame you for bringing home food you might leave in the freezer to use later if it is eaten when you return to eat it.

    Top Gun did not impress me the first time, so I will skip this one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. His sister is the same- a touch better, but now she's got a whole family so will be interesting to see if she changes. She brings dishes for holidays. My kids always have post college.

      Delete
  3. One of my pet peeves with our vacation house was that people would always leave random things in the freezer, because they didn't want to pack it home. Well, eventually, it's all got to either be used up or tossed, and when it's not your stuff to start with, it's both less appealing & harder to use up. Someone broke our freezer by leaving an entire bag of ice inside (didn't shut properly), causing the freezer to defrost, all of the food to be ruined, and the defrosting caused water, which damaged the attached wall. After that, I made a sign to please not leave anything in the freezer. :-) I really do miss our vacation house, but zero of the logistics that come with having a house that other people use. Even with all of the best will in the world, it's a hassle.

    We have a couple of cousins who don't bring things to family events. They are the youngest, and they are also now 30+, and just come along with their parents. (They don't live together). My mom has taken to start assigning them things to bring, because they never offer or bring anything otherwise. I also don't bring anything, even when I show up with my family of four, but that's because we've flown in. I always contribute money, to cover the extra cost of hosting, and/or for family events. They are all at my parents house, so they are totally fine with that. But, it does sometimes make me feel like a mooch!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Contributing $$ to your parents when you're their guest, definitely counts !!

      Delete
    2. Yes, you are right. If everyone left stuff it becomes a potential mess. That's a reason I brought home too. I agree, contributing funds is helping. My son obviously can't bring a dish to pass, but he'll pick up things at the store- pickles, snacks, beer to share.

      Delete
  4. I can see how a now adult younger generation could stick with their habit of not contributing. Perhaps its time for the adult young cousins to have a meeting about stepping up as a group. That being said, having a vacation cottage on a lake to spend time at sounds heavenly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was waiting for my 21 year old to say something to him, as she was annoyed that he drank the last two beers she selected. I did speak up when he was going for burger 3, and said his young cousin ( another nephew) hadn't eaten a burger yet.

      Delete
  5. Hubby wanted to buy a used wagon at $1000 for hauling wood. I asked why the trailer we have with the removable sides we built almost 5 yrs ago was not good enough. He is thinking. LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We need to think every purchase these days. We've got a plumbing mess right now that's going to cost a fortune.

      Delete
  6. A young adult coming with empty hands means they've been shown they never have to come with anything. Good on you for keeping the food that is yours and using up extras. As a Caribbean child, I only go hands empty to very close friends places if it is a casual get together.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm a generous host, but this was not us hosting. Hopefully he'll grow up. I've got nieces and nephews in my side that come to Christmas or my sister's annual 4 the of July and never offer either. I think their parents need to curb that.

      Delete
  7. That is the downside of a communal dwelling. There is no way to legitimately gripe about someone using something left in the freezer, so it is best just to bring it all home.
    BTW all adult offspring need to be contributing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree- who knows what food was brought by whom- except those that never bring, obviously it was not theirs. My kids do- even the college kid asked what she could bring, though I brought more for her as I still feel responsible while she's in school. She needs her money to establish her grown up life.

      Delete
    2. She is still technically your home kid and falls under house rules, plus you take enough to cover her. I was talking about the adults who are out of school and working.

      Delete
    3. I figured that's what you meant. She did offer which was sweet.

      Delete
  8. I would be horrified if my kids showed up somewhere anywhere empty-handed, but then I guess it's so easy over here to just bring a bottle of wine. Sharing communal living space and food with others is always a difficult dance to master, isn't it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's something that makes you feel like the bad guy to be annoyed with, yet, I don't get the adulting not adulting thing.

      Delete
  9. Maybe a family meeting and email to all who use the cabin with some food rules for sharing the cabin - if you're an adult and are coming to stay and eat - bring some food and beverages with you, so that we all share in the cabin food expenses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll pay attention over the summer. It's not a hill I want to die in and be the wicked cheapskate aunt. But, it's annoying.

      Delete
  10. We had terrible problems with Hub's older brother and his wife who had 5 kids and never contributed. The brother is cheap and selfish and the wife is just selfish. As in she would go get herself a Hamberger at a fast food place and eat it in front of her kids and tell them she would feed them when she got home. I was horrified, so I bought them food. This happened more than once and I put a stop to that. They also had these same kids ask for a specific toy for Christmas, which we brought out and then after we realized they had not bought them anything we stopped doing that. It took about three years for us to get the way the wind blew. Finally we started to assign days that each family would be responsible for cooking. They still did not cook or provide food for the day. I remember taking the cold cereal that I had for my kids and hiding it in the car. She had 4 boys and a girl and these were big 6',2",6',4" boys. She got mad because I took the cereal to my car and she went out to the car after asking Hubs for the keys and got the cereal and her son finished off the box. They were a nightmare to do anything with. Actually hub's whole family will take advantage of you financially if you let them. It is something in their blood I swear. SO embarrassing, for me and for them. I just don't get it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WTF!!!!! Ok, a little spoiled delayed adulting is one thing, but your describing thieves. How did you let it happen more than once? Unreal and I'm livid knowing how hard you work, and how generous you are.

      Delete
    2. Wow, that is beyond! I'm with Sam. Our family members are occasionally lazy or thoughtless, but definitely nothing at that level. I'd absolutely lose it. We owned our vacation house for 10+ years, and there were a few extended relatives that were never allowed to use the house. We'd just always say there was a conflict with the date. It's awkward, but some people just don't have common sense. The relatives you describe sound absolutely awful!

      Delete

Join the conversation. Your comments are welcome. Dissenting and different opinions are welcome as makes for good conversation. I moderate comments to be sure I read them all and stay ahead of the spam. Advertising products or services without permission will be deleted, as will anything that may be harmful to others-read promotion of debunked "experts" and conspiracies. If you're a blogger, feel free to include your blog URL.