Money Monday-Reevaluating Life Insurance

     

     As life changes, our need for protection in worst case scenario changes as well. With DD2 graduating college next year, by June 2023, theoretically we have no more dependents, or people depending on us other than each other. We do however depend on each other's income an awful lot right now for both living off of, and saving for retirement. We both have policies through work, an annuity started when we were pretty young, and  term life. I added more insurance for myself three years ago when I had the extra scare, and realized I was woefully under insured considering the college kid was still just 18 and we relied on me working for health insurance. While I don't think we can over prepare, I think we are in an adequate place for now.

     However, with DH retiring, I lose some security in two years with his employer provided life insurance. We are starting to price out options to replace at least part of it, at least through my turning 66 and able to fully access Medicare, so approximately a 10 year policy. Three years ago we added an affordable 15 year policy for me, so starting with that company for a bid. 

     I am not an expert by any means, and this entire post is anecdotal to myself, but  hopefully gives you at least things to think about for your own protection. I  starting asking these questions and quite frankly, should be doing so at least annually and adjusting or modify strategies as needed.

• Who all and for how much, is dependent upon my salary? How long will this need continue?  
• How much ongoing income will need to be replaced and for how long?
• Would a lump sum payout help minimize the ongoing financial needs? Think of things like paying off a mortgage, a car or other consumer loan, or lingering student loans. Is there any tax penalties to those lump sums? 
• What about interim expenses? For example, if both DH and I pass away we'll leave our kids a house to deal with. They'll still need to pay taxes, insurance, utilities and maintenance until either one of them takes it on from the other two, or they sell it outright. While assets can be sold, there's no guarantee how quickly.
• What bills will increase with me or our significant other no longer being around? Think of all the things that might need to be hired out or conveniences that your dependents might need at least while they are adjusting to a new life. For example, DH does all the outside stuff pretty much himself. I'd want to make sure I have funds to cover hiring this out. He'd likely bring someone in perhaps at least one half day a week for housework.
• How much will health insurance cost my dependents if I no longer accessed through my work? If you carry the policy, what will your employer allow for transition? 
• What about final resting costs? How will those be paid? (better yet, does your family know your wants and preferences now?)
•  What can my dependents access of my current assets, and what might be lost if action doesn't happen before I pass away? Think of our list of beneficiaries. Are the right people named? Are there stipulations in place for how the assets get divided. Make sure you are not leaving a headache and potential hard feelings for your loved ones. Consider if they might have a tax penalty and how to minimize and prepare for that. 

     Our best bet is to seek professional guidance from someone who is not paid through commission on sales of products. Yes, it is not cheap, but I simply can't know what I don't, and questions above aside, what all I should be asking. I certainly don't have the answers even if I knew all the questions. All of us have different needs and wants for our post retirement. Sometimes sadly, life takes turns that were not part of the plan. We owe ourselves to face that possibility and not be saddled with worry about what ifs. 

     Shameless Referral Plug to Fetch: Through Tuesday, 1/25/2022 a bonus referral of 4,000 points is credited to my account. If you haven't used Fetch but are thinking of doing so, we might both benefit a touch. Here's my referral code: 

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Kicking the Can Down the Road No More

One of the the things so far I have appreciated in my job is I no longer hold authority without accountability. Instead, I am considered a “content expert”, providing information to others in objective ways, and let them make the decisions, for good, bad or indifference, leaving the accountability to whatever the fall out might be with the decision makers. It is a change in work style that many believed I would have a hard time transitioning to. However, they did not see that my previous position had eroded to the point where I was being stripped of the benefit of  using sound objective information (and often being told to manipulated data to support a predisposed set of assumptions) in exchange for preferences and erroneous generalization of anecdotes as trends and facts. I had little to no authority to make objective decisions, yet still held all the accountability when the “bad” happened. I was charged with making someone elses skewed vision become a reality and if I pushed back, or my team was not successful, I was labeled difficult or accused of not providing leadership. 

I noodle things over and over in my head, but once facts, options, and all considerations are put before me, I am able to make decisions quickly. The decisions I make now are what are the important things that are useful in decision making, and quite frankly, there is actually a lot of authority in that. Unfortunately, I am in a situation now that we are stuck moving forward until the powers that be make a choice, and put a green stamp on which plan they prefer. Time is ticking on our launch, and we have already lost a significant week, having wanted at least two full weeks before Christmas break, to communicate to our external stakeholders. I get it. No matter what decision is made, there will be a certain percent of unhappy people. Objectively, one option is clearly, backed with data, the right option. The right option also has the most current beneficiaries impacted negatively. However, it currently is an imbalanced and inequitably funded program, with negative impact long term, and a model that is not sustainable. Yet, instead of just making the hard decisions, the most senior leader just does not want to "fight" with those that stand to lose any of their current funding. A meeting to decide has been scheduled and rescheduled three times, kicking the can down the road. The organization suffers from decision paralysis.

I keep adding to my 2017 list of things I'm going to do or things I'm going to stop doing. While I am good with decision making and execution on the job, home is another thing. I procrastinate. I dawdle. I over think things, and move in circular patterns, knowing what's needed, but not just making a decision. No more. I see from a work perspective, how inefficient and annoying it is to those waiting on the decision. I'm not advocating for being impulsive, but when something needs being done, say taking care of the wet basement issue so we have a usable house, I'm going to make a decision and execute the remediation based on options available. Take my sectional. Had we just gone out, shopped, researched options, we would have known to find something of the right style and fit was going to need to be custom ordered, and take over eight weeks. Had I ordered in July, money saved, styled already known, measurements taken, I'd be sitting on a comfy space in front of a fireplace typing this. Oh, and speaking of fireplace, we need a new insert, that too could have been dealt with before winter, while waiting for the couch to arrive. Guess who is now on a waiting list for the furnace company? In 2017, I will be kicking the can down the road no more.

Planning but not Communicating

Not a Vikings post, though I love my Minnesota football and am devastated for young Teddy Bridgewater and his horrific injury. My readers may know I live in the Twin Cities area of Minnesota. Roughly, Minneapolis and St Paul combined have a population just shy of 600,000 people. It quadruples if you expand to the full seven county metro area, we get to about 2.4 million folks. Quite sizable but not anywhere near the scale of other major metro areas in the United States. We have just two light rail lines, with very limited pick up outside of the cities, and the same with bus services. This leads me to ask how city planners, or at least the  parts of the city governments that approve venue licenses, would not think allowing a home Minnesota Vikings football game, a home Minnesota Gophers college football game, and a home Minnesota Twins baseball game all on the same nights would be problematic for traffic. These events moved 150,000 people into downtown Minneapolis, during rush hour traffic. On the other side of the river, but needing those same highways, buses, and light rail lines, a home St Paul Saints baseball game was being held, and oh yes, I can't forget to mention the Minnesota State Fair was going on, drawing an additional 100,000 plus people into the cities. Who would foresee that adding 33% more people into an already congested area would create travel and parking headaches. Umm, anyone that saw all the events on the calendar the same night. I work a touch north of all this, and can make a wide loop east to avoid much, but the residual effect was still present on my commute home. 

I'm in a work and planning mode this weekend, home focused, and getting the job done mode. As I mentioned, work will be crazy for the foreseeable future, and I don't need things to collapse at home. DD starts school Wednesday and has a really congested schedule filled with nine classes, two meeting alternate days, show choir, violin, and her new part time Wednesday night job as a recreational league volleyball ref. DH is three men down at work, using people from other stores or on a temporary basis, so he has felt the need to be at work longer hours and on his day off for at least short spurts. Just like the Metro planning authorities should have seen, I know we need better planning for the weeks ahead. Here's the deal though. I can plan all I want, but if I am not communicating with the other two in my house,all my planning will be as crazy as Thursday night traffic. We have three sets of hands, and we need to be working in sync on home tasks, car pooling, meal prep, and giving some love and attention to poor little pup who is going to get his fall abandonment complex back once he is home three days alone.

I've done planning before with copies of Outlook calendars, but then it only seems to sit with me, and after a while, cracks emerge in the plan because of my schedule and I didn't communicate enough for someone else to pick up the tasks. Pretty soon we are back to pulling laundry out of baskets, doing the sniff test, and ordering pizza three nights in a week. No excuses this year. I found a great calendar making resource on line. Create printable calendars can help me do the job once, print multiple copies for DD's room, the refrigerator, DH's desk, and have electronic versions I can send to each of our e-mails. I can add items we may need for menu planning, taking a cue from Sluggy's This Week on the Dining Table posts and know what we will have, what needs to supplement food already on hand, and allow flexibility. DH can throw the nights dinner in the crock pot or take out of the freezer to defrost when he runs home for lunch. I can end each day by throwing in a load of clothes, popping them in the dryer or on a hanger first thing in the morning, DD folding things and disbursing them to be put away once she is home from school, and never need the sniff test again. 

Twenty-nine years managing this family and I have had all sort of systems, and depending on the time in our life cycle, more success some years than others. I don't have the energy or the inclination now to spend my days off picking up the slack from the work week and with no real child caring duties, we should not let the house tie us down. What systems do you use to keep your family planned and in communication. Do others carry their fair share? We truly are in September now, and despite being out of school myself, this always feels like the real start of the year. To that end, I'll leave you with one of my favorite songs ever, from one of my favorite musicians. Welcome September. 

Whats for Dinner, Lunch, and Snacking....

After my massive shop at Aldi's last Friday, that I am counting on the June grocery budget, other than milk, juice, and bread, we didn't need groceries this week. DH has this weird obsession though with grocery shopping and when he got frozen pizza and ice cream post concert, he picked up other things. Then on his day off, he managed another shop, and I am pretty clueless now what we have causing the freezer to practically burst. On my schedule today is to do a good look through and hopefully do some batch cooking. With two soccer games wedged in with a hectic work week, and finals for DD before her last day of school, and preparing for an out of town tournament, attempting organization in the kitchen will be key. 

Batch cook
Chili-I have the fixings to make a super huge pot of it. Even with the warmer weather, we still enjoy it as a hearty and easy to pull together meal. 
Bean Burgers-I have several cans of chili beans, a drawer of onions and carrots, and can do a batch of 8, saving a few for later in the month when we'll see DD#1.
Chicken-I'll cook up the lot and then freeze some in diced portions for pasta sauces and stir fries and curry's, sliced for on top of spinach, and some in small cutlets that can be seasoned and reheated on the grill
Ground Beef-Same as chicken, cook it all up with the chili, but reserve some portions for pasta sauce and hot dish
Banana bread-I think the banana's are multiplying in my freezer. A double batch, using my mini loaf pans will be perfect for quick breakfasts, snacks, and to freeze for the tournament, and later in the month for the cabin.

I wish I had better a better storage system to create crock pot meals, ready to go, all laid out in my freezer. Maybe in another life but the prep above will help clean down the freezer, and give me bases to get a quick meal pulled together on week nights. 

We've had some additional expenses with fee's for concert tickets and the play,  plus upcoming costs of the hotel, more gas, plus a meal or two out  for the tournament. DD#2 is in desperate need of swimsuits as the bottoms didn't quite work anymore either.  Because of these cash flow items, I'd like to hit below $350 for total groceries, and use up household goods to keep that expense low as well.  We have the use of the cabin for three days at the end of the month and will have a few extra kids, and DD#1 so on top of the $350, I thought I'd add another $90, or $30 per day to accommodate teen appetites. I need to find receipts and do some math, but I am probably at $200 already in June with a lot of month left. However, becasue of the packed cupboards and freezers, I feel strongly I can do this. I might just  have to hide DH's wallet to get there.

Sizzle My Life

My son in California has been picking up quite a few jobs working on sizzle productions. You don't know what that is?  Well neither did I until he explained that a sizzle is a very short clip of a movie, television show, or feature, that is made to pitch to a producer, studio, station, or person with the means to take it to the next level. Sometimes that next level is a pilot, or maybe it's funding to move forward developing a whole series or movie. I love the term, and thought wouldn't it be nice if you could create little sizzles before jumping into something in real life?

I've got college planning on my brain.  Partially because of a nephew and a few friends with kids graduating and off to college, and because now my mail box, and daughters mail, is starting to fill with college promos. While she doesn't graduate for three more years, and this is the start, before we know it, it will be time for her to decide. Wouldn't be great to get a little preview of what is to come?  She could have a sizzle of how she fits in with a certain program, campus size, or roommate situation before making decisions. 

Fast forward another decade, and DH and I could get sizzles for retirement options. How would life in another country look like with us in the starring role? Would one of us feel like Scarlet Johanson in Lost in Translation, or would we slip into the culture easily, and enjoy morning coffee at a neighborhood cafe where everyone knows us as the happy American couple? If we bought an RV as a second home and traveled the country, would we be speaking together on day 38? We could get a glimpse out of the quirky neighbors and supporting cast in our life.

Fast forward again to when either DH or I are left behind. It would be interesting to get glimpses, and make choices now about what our final needs might be, and how life back as a solo could pan out... and decide now if it is worth the effort to maintain certain strained relationships. 

His siblings refer to DS as the human Wikipedia, and I got an earful of statistics about sizzles and pilots, and what parentage ever go beyond the cutting room floor, and antiquated expression as it is all digital now. Virtually nothing goes beyond the sizzle creation. I'd hate to think that parts of a future life could be cut and deleted. I guess that's why I just need to plan, lay out options, and think through the possibilities, and move forward with no regrets. If you could get a glimpse of your options played out in advance, would you watch?

Saturday Smatterings

Not sure what all we have going on this weekend-lot's of things need to be done, but whether or not that will happen is a mystery to me. I'm feeling very lackadaisical this morning. The dishwasher did not get unloaded and loaded last night-yuck, and I am as guilty as DH and the kids, so tackled that right away. No clean undies in my drawer, so that was tackled next so I can take a shower in an hour and get on with things. DD#2 reports the last of the TP was being used in the downstairs bathroom. I'm getting more serious about the weight loss healthy eating and physical activity plan, but would like to track some progress and the scale's battery is dead. I'll head to the nearby hardware store for that trying not to venture out of my own neighborhood feels like too much effort, and hope they have toilet paper as well-and Diet Coke. There is none in the house, and I am feeling my withdrawal symptoms. If not, I'll run into the grocery store too, but nothing else as we have a full freezer after DD#2 made an Aldi's stop after her boxing class to contribute to the food stuff. Other things on my list:

1. Set up the soccer team contact list with updated e-mails and phone numbers (yep, team manager again this year)
2. Finish presentation for next week  (bringing home work this weekend, but had to be done, and I'll take comp time later) and finishing a budget project
3. Continue with laundry and really sort out my 5 Work Days, 5 Outfits project (though this week I am hoping to only be working four days as Friday is my day off) Pictures and post to blog and Twitter @samandcoffee65
4. Clean bathrooms-another Yuck!, but no one did even a quick clean this week.
5. Order desk and Billy bookcase from Ikea for DD#2's room. I haven't found anything second hand, and am giving up the ghost.  While we could pick up in Bloomington, but the thought of entering and navigating the maze on a January Saturday with no football game is anxiety inducing. Plus,we don't really have an appropriate vehicle, and I am just going to go the simple route this time. 
6. Procrastinate and spend too much time reading blogs, facebook, and Twitter.
7. Finish my short story for Write and Link at In the Writers Closet with Natalia.
8. Meet friends with DH for some live music and "pretty drink night" at one of our little pubs we like. 

It needs to be a low cost week for anything involving cash or check. We paid the last of DD#2's trip, took out a bit of pocket money for the week and for drinks, maybe an appy and tip jar for the musicians tonight, and that left the checking account lean until payday Friday. The next two Saturdays I am Show Choir Mom, so will be gone from sunrise to well past sunset, so today I really should aim for productive. Your turn.  What's on your Saturday calendar?

Photohome.bloguez.com

Must List-To the Trash and a New Start

In mid July, I made some pretty ambitious declarations of how I must do certain things if I was going to make progress, let alone achieve success in various areas of my life. If your curious to the old post, here it is. On Friday I thought perhaps I should go through that list and assess what I did to embrace as "musts" and where reality kicked me back to earth. It doesn't take more than a glance to see where I faltered-health, organization and social connectedness. I think "must' does not work for me, so after an assessment, this list can be in the trash bin, and I can move on. 

Health
1.  Must walk pup every morning before going to work. He did get out to piddle and sniff for rabbits, but no walk each morning.
2.  Must pack lunch that includes fruit and vegetable daily. Moderately successful-when I actually packed a lunch.  I eat out very little, unless as part of a work meeting, or special planned ahead occasion.  I still relied on my drawer of instant soups and tuna salad kits-good for money savings, not good for heart. 
3.  Must do core and strengthening exercises 4 days per week. Not so much-perhaps 2 days.
4.   Must fill and drink my water bottle twice at work (this is an easy one) and drink equivalent amount of water at home (not an easy one) One I can cross off, and keep doing. 

Organization
 5.  Must tackle part or all of a room a night for decluttering. Fail on so many levels
6.  Must stay on top of daily household tasks-dishes, laundry, bathroom Work in progress

Time Management
7.  Must limit TV/Netflix/YouTube (unless for research) to not more than 2 hours per day (this is probably still excessive) Not counting weekend binges that were planned as part of my unwind, I've gotten better at the nightly viewing. 
8.  Must read 3 times per week for fun  While I'm not getting books read again, I am reading articles in magazines, short stories, and Internet stories that are for personal interest.

Money Management
9.  Must set up E-Bay and  Pay-Pal account (why not try and make some money when I declutter) Accounts set up but nothing done with them.

Social Connectedness
 10. Must meet a friend at least one time per week. This has been more like two times per month. While I've seen people because of holiday and birthday get togethers, I've not connected with some really good friends on a regular basis, and am disappointed in that. 
 11. Must schedule planned extended family time on both sides of family monthly I did well here.  Busy 6 months with family-perhaps too much family at times.

Advancing my skills/growth
 12. Must blog at least 4 times per week Perhaps my readers wish I would take a break.
 13.  Must continue the Writers Closet monthly short story I did each of the five posted, and yeah, Natalia at In the Writers Closet is starting it again for January and I am in. 
 14.  Must research and work on my book 10 hours minimally per week. Have you seen my book?  Neither have I.  It is coming along in dribs and drabs.  Did not meet September 1 for first draft for editing, nor my second date of November 25th.  Shall I say February 29th?  Leap year seems like a good year to launch a book. 
 15.  Must keep building my business brand (new venture) and web platform I am puttering away at this and even attended a bloggers conference in November.

My final word on this is to tell myself, I must not do anything.  If I should want to, best to put full energy into it and do it wisely.

Life Lists for the New Year

These are not resolutions.  Nor are these goals.  I'm just going to call this a life list for 2016. Back some time ago I did a post on a Must List for  Minimalism. In hindsight, it was an overwhelming list that I have not done an assessment for success and failure. The concept was good-create concrete statements of what you will accomplish in order to maximize the reality that it will be achieved.The categories, health, organization, money management, social connectedness, and advancing my skills weren't bad either. As in most things I've not achieved, the detail was in the execution. Must is not a great word for my vocabulary. Tomorrow I may pull up the list and  assess.

The "experts" say goals must be smart, as in Specific, Measurable, Attainable,  Realistic, and Timely. I might come up with mini goals within the categories below, that will fit this acronym. For now, the broad life list will do to get me from January 1 to December 31 no worse for wear, and maybe a dash improved. 


Health-Eat less crap; move more. Take a sick day if I need one. Smell the flowers.

Organization-Avoid being a case scenario for Hoarders 101. Work my closets.

Money Management-Spend less than we earn. Give generously. Invest wisely.

Social connectedness-Do more with other humans outside of my immediate family. Don't start or play into any feuds.

Advance my skills-Improve my use of the English language and grammar rules for 2016. Write just because I like writing. 

It's January 7th, so in my book, the calendar is completely turned to a new page. December and all of 2015 is done and dusted, a mere memory. I've got 51 more weeks to create new ones, adding or crossing off items on my life list as needed.

Gift at the Ready

I have been glaringly upfront that I like a nice glass, heck, bottle of wine every now and then.  It has become a hobby.  Not the drinking of it alone, but learning about the grape varieties, and what makes the same grape have very different end results in the wine.  Because of this interest, we joined a wine club which along with our monthly meet-ups and wine tasting nights, we bring home three bottles of different selections. Believe it or not, often we never consume the bottles we take home.  I make mental and sometimes real notes about which ones I think a particular taste type might like.  We also get to buy extra bottles at 15% off the already lower wine club price, so I've been known to pick up extra bottles of particular favorites. These bottles make great last minute gifts for hostess parties, and adult birthday, or thank yous. 

Great in a pinch for a known wine drinker, but I am often in need of a universal gift for a non wine drinker or a youth, so have been known to do a last minute run to Target and buy something quick, the first thing I see that might hit the mark, overspending in the process. I could have been faced with this already this morning  DD#2, who has been burning the candle at both ends for the last month,  needs a secret Santa gift in the $5.00 range for this morning's concert orchestra group. I actually knew about it earlier in the week and she had suggested an ITunes card, but when I looked, there were only pre populated amounts of $25 or more.Then, we both sort of let it slip our minds and she needs this when we leave the house at 6;45 this morning. What is open on route is a 24 grocery store, gas and convenience stores, and Walmart. 

Then, I had an epiphany.  In my wallet are no less than four $5.00 Target cards that are given at the register when you buy certain quantities of various things.  These are items like toilet paper, cleaning products, or personal care items-all stuff we would have bought anyway.  I often forget I get these cards, and then will find in cleaning out my wallet.  I've used them then for things like passing on to the grown kids for a supply run,or for extra items for school supply drives in the fall. I also bought two for one bags of Christmas M&M's for baking, but only need one. DD#2 taped a gift card to the candy, found some old tissue paper and a reclaimed small gift bag from something else, and Voila, a secret Santa gift any 14 year old would want to get.

While I still like that these little gift cards make it easy to add to my giving to either my broke kids or to my community, this was a good use of the cards to help reign in more overspending this time of year. I'll add my estimated savings, $10 (probably the minimum I would have spent on a dash and buy stop on route) -$1.50 on the M&M's,, -$0 for the gift card for a total of $8.50 to add to my end of year food shelf donation. In the future, I'll try to keep both gift cards, and  a few things of candy or tins of nuts as a container of sorts for the card, around for just this situation, 

Finding Our Paths

DS turns 27 today.  I vainly was pleased whenever I heard, "You don't look old enough to have a 26 year old." I don't know if I will feel different about 27, being a stone's throw from 30.  At 27, I had already purchased two homes, was raising two children, and was working as a parent education specialist at a non profit, charged with supporting teen mothers so that they stayed in school. I had a lot of responsibility at now what feels like a young age. My son is on a day to day existence employment wise.  Recently though he's decided he is now going to sideline his primary aspirations to find something in any field that is stable and consistent, and keep working on his photography and film around that. The angst of unstable housing at the end of November made him look less starry eyed at how his career path was going.  

There are so many paths life takes a person on. Taking a new route doesn't mean the end destination is out of reach. I don't want him, or any of my kids to feel like they made mistakes in their life because they aren't living their dream right at that given moment. If and when they make a poor decision, I hope they realize they can make different decision at any time to set a new course. Granted some routes are harder to change than others, particularly when you have another or several people on the path with you.  He and I discussed that yesterday.  He has friends from high school and family members that took a job, for many, one they really dislike, fairly soon after either high school or college graduation, started a family and perhaps bought a house, and now are for the moment, set on a specific path. Dreams shift and can take a different form as a person matures, but jump starting is harder to do when others need to jump with you. I think of a young dad expecting child number four, and between regular and overtime, he is working 50+ hours a week, holidays and weekends.  While I don't know this is the case, it seems like his efforts are basically to support his wife's dream of a big house, private school, and mom's club status. I'm sure he is happy, but this is not where his life was heading just seven years ago before marriage and family, and to go back on that path is unrealistic.

While DS had hoped at 27 he would be more settled, re-calibrating his life choices impacts himself alone.  He can work a 40 hour a week job, and if he chooses, right now can also work another 40 hours independently pursuing his preferred field.  He doesn't have home maintenance or child care to worry about right now. And while he wouldn't rule out having a significant other in his life, it isn't a priority. He started putting resumes out again, in a wider net of businesses. As much as I profess worrying, I really am not.  He is on a course to some destination, and in time, will arrive, at least for that moment, where he should be. 

A Break in Routine

Are human beings truly creatures of habit? Without conscientiously challenging ourselves to try and do new things, or the same things in different ways, are we prone to all fall into complacent, even if comfortable, lives?  I created the Must list a few weeks back now as part of the minimalist challenge.  It isn't going great-little successes, but not any wide sweeping changes, and we are approaching the 21 day marker this weekend. I'll keep moving forward, but I think my real block is that this is forcing me to change routines, some I wasn't even aware of. I think my ruts, in meal preparations, in activities, in fashion (lack thereof), are all examples of routines that have run.their course. 

I've added a couple blogs to my reading list written by 40 and 50 somethings on food, style, and health. I'm hoping to glean a bit of  inspiration to break up some of these routines, but in ways that are done by  everyday people living their everyday lives in real time, and not by a magazine writer, written three months in advance of publishing. 

And I need a vacation.  I'm not complaining, more of a whine, but I have not had more than a three day weekend for time off since October when I took two consecutive days, but then was still wired to the office by cell phone, text, and e-mail. I didn't take a break between job changes in March. Of course all my new coworkers are on their regular vacation cycles, Facebook is loaded with them, and I've nothing planned until October, so I am very envious. Part of it is that DH used a week of his vacation before his dad passed away, and then time since for his mom, so he doesn't have the time off right now. I'm still trying to figure out the elusive mini get away, but summer is passing.by quickly. Didn't I change jobs to have more down time? I did get that in my day to day, but vacations are a total recharge, and needed.

Here is a routine changer. In the last week, I've been participating in a morning Rise and Link blogging experiment.  If you want to read more, click the previous link.  Have a visit to my other blog, Sam and Writing if your feeling curious-I'd love to hear what you think.

Home Alone

DH and DD#2 are setting out in two weeks for a spring break trip to visit grandparents in Arizona.  I will have the whole house to myself, not counting pup and guinea pig. The thought of an evening to myself to putter uninterrupted, leaves me a bit giddy, but I might overdose on a full week.  If I am to avoid a week of Netflix binge, some proper planning is in order with a mix of work, housework, duty, and play. 

Work: The week might be a good time to dive into my new job deeper than I suspect I might be able to in the first couple weeks when I will be getting oriented. I won't necessarily be able to stay in the office later because the pets will need care, but I plan to start a pile of good bed side reading. This might be a good time to better explore the office neighborhood and know what amenities are nearby, and how I can utilize them. 

Housework: Things should stay tidy with just me in the house to mess things up, right? Therefore, I should be able to get any  neglected tasks like actually dusting with a rag and polish, mopping the floors, and neatly folding and putting laundry away. Not only could the house be tidy, it might actually be clean.

Duty: The week should be a good one to check in on the status of some volunteer commitments. I'm a parent rep for soccer and in charge of a youth breakfast at the end of the month. I would be ahead of the calendar if I do some updating and connecting that week, instead of pushing until closer to the actual deadlines. It would be a good time to sort out the spring calendar, noting birthday, Easter, and Mother's Day gifts needed or heck, even getting them bought and wrapped.

Play: I see  a couple girls nights on my calendar-maybe movie and drinks afterwards, or going for frugal on the Tuesday night movie deal and free popcorn.  After dropping the family at the airport for their 8:00 p.m. flight, I would love to head to an improv show on the opposite end of the world from me, to watch a friend perform, with nobody else's schedule to think about. And to keep it real, some Netflix bingeing will be in order. 

What do you think of my plan? Have I missed any categories that you would focus on?   

He'll wonder where everyone is.

A Change of Plans

Most  people experience disruptions in their life plans due to unforeseen or unplanned circumstances.  Job relocation or job loss, unexpected health crisis, another child, or an elder parent needing transitional or long term care can put a life course wayward in short order.   I've experienced each of these, and even the joyous one, an unexpected but much wanted bonus baby, put DH and I back on a the couch with pen and paper, outlining new goals and timelines.  I've no direct experience, but have witnessed family and friends that have experiences that were devastating.  Divorce or loss of a spouse or child, meant not only did life plans get put on hold, they were scrapped entirely. 

A local radio station does a feature once a week or so where a listener has a situation that they are uncertain what to do, and they have other listeners call in sharing what they would do if they were in that same place. This young women called because she found a letter in an envelope, addressed to her, but never sent, packed away in a box from seven years earlier.  The letter  was from her then boyfriend, now husband, telling her he wanted to break up as there was no spark, and thought this was for the best. In figuring out the timing, she knew that was about the time she had learned she was pregnant with their first child.  He didn't break up with her and they got married, and  now have two children.  She was now questioning whether her whole marriage was only one of obligation, and if she should bring up the found letter with her husband, to learn whether or not he still felt the same way.  Cutting to the end, she learned he really didn't ever grow to fall in love with her, and was only staying in the marriage until the kids grew up.  Upon reflection, she realized, while they didn't have a bad marriage, she probably has always felt the same way. Her questions now went from should she bring up the letter, to should they even stay married. This young mom has major decisions to make with her husband that impact four people, two who have no say. 

I'm not sure why this story has been so on my mind.  I suppose it has got me thinking about how I would handle a life shocker or wake up call.  Are my hopes dreams, aspirations nimble enough to withstand a major life event?  Would I have the courage to start a new path, or would I fight to hold onto the path I feel I should be on?  I have become a bit of a blog reading addict.  I read blogs from young single people, navigating life in the early stages of their careers.  I love the blogs from 30s something moms, that bring me back to when my kids were young, and I smile when I read their silly stories, and grimace with remembrance when I hear stories of behavior and social challenges with kids.  My favorites blogs are by the newly, semi, and about to be retired writers who have or are in process of forging new paths, and are now independently employed, paid or unpaid, but fulfilled. Depending on how our current planning goes, I am anywhere from 11-16 years from retiring from a "job."  If that could be sped up by figuring a way to  earn enough income to cover our needs and  get out of the daily work grind, that would be ideal. I want to learn from others who have done just that. Realistically with over 4 years of secondary school, and college looming for DD#2, nine years might be the likely target, but then I can't know what life might throw into the mix. 

In my mind, I have lots of ideas and routes for the next 20 years or so of my life.  Some are more concrete, in that I've attached savings dollars and have congruence with DH's ideas.  Some, admittedly, are pretty half baked, but I'll choose to think of them as aspirational, like relocating to the UK.  So what about your stories.  Who either by choice or circumstances has started life anew?  Who has forged a new path, machete in hand, clearing a way forward to the next stage in life?